Breaking Cover
by unwittysidekick
Summary: Jennifer Coates has a secret. She's not who everyone thinks she is. Why is she really at JAG? And will she risk it all for the man she loves?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: None of this is mine

Setting: The second half of season 9

1900 local time  
Al's Diner  
Washington DC

"You're in love with him. Aren't you?"

The quietly spoken words were directed towards the woman sitting in a booth directly behind the speaker's. Their backs were to each other, allowing them to talk without giving anyone a reason to suspect they were actually there together.

The woman didn't answer, instead sipped at her coffee.

"Your silence is deafening." The man sighed. "At least tell me you two haven't given in to your mutual desire for each other."

"_Mutual_ desire?" She repeated in disbelief. There was a sadness in her voice as she continued. "He thinks of me as a little sister or something."

"I've seen the way he looks at you when he doesn't think anyone's watching. _I _certainly don't look at my sister that way."

"You don't _have_ a sister."

"Well then, I don't look at _you_ that way. Trust me, the last way he thinks of you is as a little sister."

She didn't respond, just sipped her coffee, not daring to believe what he was saying.

There was silence between them until he spoke up again. "You haven' t told him anything have you?"

"Of course not!" Her indignant reply came out a little louder than she had intended.

He waited a minute to see if it would attract any attention. Nobody turned in their direction though, so he continued. "I had to ask." Even without looking at her he knew she would be nodding her head in grudging acceptance of his words. "You're too valuable in your current assignment to risk your cover being blown."

He heard something that sounded suspiciously like a snort. Before either of them could say anything else though, a waitress walked up. She glared a little at the younger woman when she saw the disposable coffee cup in her hand, indicating she had brought it in with her. He grinned into his own coffee cup, listening as his companion ordered a slice of pie with an extra scoop of ice cream. Then the waitress was standing before him, waiting expectantly for his order.

"I'll just have a refill please." He said, indicating the cup in front of him. She smiled down at him and topped him off. Picking his cup back up, he hid another grin as she walked away.

Neither of them spoke until after the waitress returned with the pie. He listened as his companion took a bite and sighed with pleasure.

"They have the best apple pie..." Then she turned serious again. "As much as I enjoy our conversations, you didn't bring me down here just for the lecture did you?"

"No. Actually, I've got a side job for you for this weekend, if you're interested." He paused, then dangled the carrot. "It would mean you'd get the chance to work with your second favorite agent."

"Aww, our first official mission together." Her voice was dripping with mock sincerity.

"Funny. So are you in?"

"Of course."

"Great. Come by Langley tomorrow and you'll be briefed." He took a final sip of his coffee and started to slide out of the booth, pausing when she spoke up.

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Only because I know you so well."

She nodded as he stood up.

"Have fun on your date Clay." She glanced over at him, smirking as she took another bite of pie. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"And that rules out what exactly?" He paused next to her booth and glanced over at her. "Watch your back this weekend."

Their eyes met and she nodded once. Without another word, Clayton Webb walked out of the diner. A minute later, Jennifer Coates slipped out of her booth, threw a couple dollars on the table to cover her pie, and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A/N: Sorry this took so long to update. I was having computer issues. One of those wonderful bugs that masquerades as a security program telling you you have a problem, then doesn't let you run your _real_ anti-virus programs.

1915 local time  
North of Union Station  
Washington DC

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Mattie, can you get that?" Jennifer called from the bathroom where she was putting the finishing touches on her make-up.

Jen waited a moment for a response from her roommate. Not hearing one she tried again.

"Mattie?"  
_  
Knock Knock Knock _

Jen sighed and grabbed her crutches out of the corner. It wasn't that Mattie was deliberately ignoring her. She had been doing her homework and she had a tendency to put her headphones on when she started studying. Jen shook her head, wishing she had been able to do that when she was that age.

Moving as fast as she could she went over to the door. If it was who she thought it was, he wouldn't just let himself in, even though he did have a key. Opening the door she found her suspicions confirmed. Commander Harmon Rabb stood just outside the doorway, his hand raised as if he had been just about to knock again. He lowered it slightly self-consciously and smiled at her, causing Jen's heart rate to accelerate.

"Hey Jen."

"Evening sir." She said, smiling back at him. She moved a little so she wasn't directly in front of the doorway. "Come on in. I think Mattie's finishing up her homework."

"You look nice Jen." Harm said as he stepped in and closed the door behind him.

"Thank you sir." Jen said, blushing. _You don't look so bad yourself._

"Going out somewhere tonight?"

Jen nodded, his words pulling her out of her thoughts. "I'm meeting my friend Carla for coffee in a little bit."

"Oh. So you won't be joining me and Mattie for dinner?" Harm tried to keep his disappointment out of his voice. It had become one of the things he looked forward to every day - these 'family dinners' he and Mattie shared with Jen.

Jen shook her head, her thoughts turning briefly to Clay and how he wasn't aware of just how much time she was spending with the Commander off duty. "Sorry sir, not tonight." And was it just her imagination or did the Commander seem disappointed about that?

"It's Harm, Jen. We're both off duty." Harm shook his head in amusement, the look on her face telling him he was just wasting his breath with his repeated reminders.

Jen started moving towards the bedroom, presumably to let Mattie know he was there, and he glanced around the apartment, trying to find something else they could talk about. His gaze landed on her crutches and then the cast on her leg that was the reason for them. She'd come back with that after a weekend with friends, refusing to say what had happened other than that it had been an accident.

"You're going to be getting rid of that thing soon, right?"

Jen looked back over her shoulder and grinned at him. "Any day now sir. I can't wait. It itches like crazy."

"Me too." Seeing the look she gave him and suddenly realizing how that had sounded, he hastily tried to explain. "I meant about getting the cast off. I was just starting to get used to having a jogging partner again when that happened. It'll be nice to have you out there with me again...that is, I mean-"

"I know what you mean sir." Something else she had kept from Clay. "You'll have to go easy on me though."

"I think I can do that."

He grinned down at her in a way that sent little sparks of electricity through her body. Before either of them could say anything else the bedroom door opened, breaking the moment. Jen took a step back, surprised at how close she and the Commander had gotten to each other, as Mattie stepped out of the room, slipping a pair of headphones off her ears as she did.

"Harm! When did you get here?"

Harm turned his attention to his ward, at the same time trying to ignore the strange feeling in his stomach that he'd been getting lately whenever he spent time around Jen. "Just a minute ago Matts. Are you finished with your homework now?"

While Mattie answered Jen took the opportunity to slip back into the bathroom, closing the door and leaning against it once she was inside. It was getting harder and harder to hide how she really felt whenever she was around him. And that, in turn, was making it harder and harder for her to be able to do her _real_ job.

She had been smitten with him from the first moment she saw him, the picture Clay had shown her during her briefing not doing him any justice at all. She'd ignored it though, like she'd been trained to do, because she had a job to do. But the kindness he'd shown to a belligerent stranger, and the genuine care and concern she'd seen in his eyes in the week that followed, hadn't been as easy to ignore. And it hadn't taken long for her to really start falling for him.

Jen sighed and pushed away from the door. Leaving her crutches in the corner, she hopped over to the sink so she could look at herself in the mirror, at the same time trying her best to shake off that line of thought. Her job required her to be around the Commander and that wasn't likely to change any time soon so she needed to find a way to deal with her feelings before they became any more of a liability than they already were.

After quickly brushing her teeth Jen left the bathroom, coming out to find the Commander going over some of Mattie's math homework with her. She quickly gathered up her coat and purse.

"I'm not sure how late I'll be, Mattie, so make sure you lock up when you go to bed. Okay?"

"Got it." Mattie said, looking up from her textbook. "Have fun."  
_  
If only this was that kind of thing,_ Jen thought.

Instead of responding she just smiled and nodded at the girl. With another nod in the Commander's direction, Jen started towards the door.

Harm watched her go. His gaze dropped slightly, unable to stop himself from admiring the way her jeans clung to her curves in all the right places. The door closed behind her and Harm looked away, only to find Mattie giving him a strange look.

"What?" Harm asked a little defensively. "I was just...making sure she didn't need help with the door."

"Riiight." Mattie said, the look on her face expressing her disbelief as clearly as her tone of voice had. She continued speaking, her tone becoming conversational. "You know, she's been doing that a lot lately."

"Doing what?" Harm asked absentmindedly as he double checked the rest of her homework.

"Having coffee with Carla." Mattie paused. "If it wasn't for the fact that I've actually talked to this Carla once or twice when she's called, I'd say it was just a cover story."

That got Harm's attention. "Cover story? For what?"

Mattie rolled her eyes. "For what do you think Harm? A secret boyfriend."

Harm frowned, not liking the idea of Jen being involved with someone. He glanced over at the door again, a thoughtful look on his face.

1945 local time  
Federalist Coffee and Tea  
Washington DC

Jen stepped into the coffee shop, glancing around for Carla. But instead of her CIA handler, sitting at a table in the back she saw Clayton Webb. Jen's eyebrows rose.

She made her way back towards him. As she got closer she saw him focus on her crutches. He pursed his lips, the only indication he gave of what he was feeling.

Jen sat down in one of the empty chairs at the table and signaled one of the waiters for a cup of coffee. Only after he had brought it over and she had taken a sip did she say anything.

"Where's Carla?"

Clay waved his hand dismissively. "Doing whatever it is she normally does on a Friday night. Nice to see you too Jennifer."

Jen grinned into her coffee cup before schooling her features into a more serious expression and setting it down. "Sorry Clay. Just wasn't expecting to see you tonight is all. What's up?"

Clay raised a finger, asking her to wait a minute, as his gaze was drawn to something over her shoulder. Jen turned slightly in her chair to see a familiar blond haired woman making her way towards them. A huge smile on her face, Jen stood up and warmly embraced the other woman, who returned the hug just as wholeheartedly.  
_  
A-hem_

Clay cleared his throat, causing both women to compose themselves somewhat and sit down.

The smile still on her face, Jen turned towards her friend. "Loren, how are you? I haven't talked to you since..." Jen trailed off as both their gazes were drawn to her crutches.

Turning her gaze away from the crutches, Loren Singer looked back at her friend. "Well, Abby's great of course, getting bigger every day. Dylan's convinced himself she'll start walking any day now." Loren shook her head in bemusement before continuing. "You need to come over sometime soon for dinner."

Jen smiled at the thought of her goddaughter. "Of course. I've actually been meaning to drop by, but with everything else I've got going on right now..."

Loren nodded in understanding.

"Give them both my love though."

"Are you two about done? Because we do have some business to discuss whenever you've finished catching up."

Jen and Loren both turned their attention to Clay, instantly all business.

"So what's going on Clay?" Jen asked.

Clay gestured toward Loren, and Jen turned slightly to face her friend.

"In the last few weeks I've been tracking a series of emails that strongly indicates the existence of a domestic terrorist cell. The email accounts themselves can't be linked directly to anybody and so far they've only been accessed using public computers during high traffic periods of the day. Despite this we've been able to identify and place under surveillance a couple of people we suspect of being members of this cell."

"I hear a 'but' coming."

Loren nodded her head. "_But_, these individuals don't seem to be very important members of the cell and we haven't been able to definitively identify any others by watching them. _And_ the emails themselves have been vague to the point of uselessness. So we have no idea how large this cell is, who the leadership is, and their immediate goals and long-range objectives also remain a mystery."

"Okay." Jen's brow furrowed slightly. "So why haven't you taken this to the FBI or NSA? Domestic is more their turf than it is ours." She looked back and forth between Loren and Clay, narrowing her eyes. "There's something you haven't told me yet."

Clay nodded and spoke up for the first time since the briefing started. "There are strong indications that this group was organized by, or at the very least is getting advice from, a foreign element."

"One whose identity and motives are unknown." Jen said, her tone that of someone parroting something she'd heard a dozen times before.

"Exactly. While Loren's been working on the domestic angle, I've been trying to identify and track down this person or persons. If he was willing to help these guys, it probably means he's got his own agenda where they're concerned. Or, for all we know, he could be going around setting up cells like this throughout the country."

Jen was silent a moment, digesting everything she had just heard. She felt her stomach turning at the idea that anyone could despise their country that much. "So why am I here? You guys are bringing me in for a reason. Am I helping Loren, or you Clay?"

"Actually, you'll have your own part to play." Clay answered somewhat cryptically.

Jen looked at him in confusion before turning to Loren, hoping the other woman would explain.

"The last couple of emails we've intercepted seem to be making references to the military."

Jen nodded, things making more sense now. At the same time she felt her blood run cold. "Do you actually think military personnel are a part of this cell?"

"We don't have enough information to say definitively one way or the other. That said, the chances of them actually being able to recruit active duty military personnel is small. While we can't rule anything out, we're currently operating under the assumption that they're attempting to use military personnel as sources of information, or as unwitting accomplices."

"So what am I doing then?" Jen asked. A hint of a smile tugged at her lips as this brought back memories of her original assignment in the Navy.  
"Trying to get them to approach me? Or trying to infiltrate a group that's already been approached? Both?"

"Neither." Clay said, speaking up again. "Given your current 'rehabilitated' status, it would take too long to get you back to a place where you would be appealing to these people. Not to mention ruining your usefulness to us where you're at now. No, your job is to try to identify anyone they've already gotten to as well as identify personnel who would be ideal candidates for them to approached so that we can put them under surveillance.

"You _are_ going to be working pretty closely with Loren though. Your normal reports will still go through the regular channels, but anything you even suspect of having to do with this case goes straight to Loren. Got it?"

"Yes sir." Jen said absently, her mind already on what needed to be done to get started. First up would be an in-depth look at everything Loren and Clay had found so far. That would mean spending hours pouring over emails and surveillance photos and listening to sound bytes. _So much for a nice, relaxing weekend.__  
_  
"Make no mistake, until we have these guys in custody, _this_ has top priority."

A/N: I know what you guys are thinking, if this takes place in season 9 how can Loren be in it since she was killed in season 8. Rest assured I do have an explanation for that, you're just going to have to wait a little bit because it doesn't come until later (much later) in the story. Also, if you've noticed she's a _little_ out of character, that too will be explained. Just bear with me.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A big Thank You to everyone who's been reading this so far!

1400 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"So that's what you were up to earlier."

"Excuse me sir?"

"Getting your cast off Petty Officer." Harm looked over at Jennifer as the two of them walked down the hallway towards the conference room. For a moment their eyes met then Harm lowered his gaze for a second, nodding his head slightly towards her leg, emphasizing his words.

"Oh, right." For a second she had thought he'd been referring to her other activities. Jen looked away and an awkward silence falls between them. Finally, into that silence Jen spoke up again. "Thank you again, sir, for asking the Admiral to allow me to assist you on this case."

She shouldn't be doing this. There was already enough on her plate as it was, with her duties as the Admiral's yeoman and her Agency responsibilities, and now on top of all that the terrorist case. But it was a chance for her to work together with the Commander, something she hadn't done very much of since becoming Admiral Chegwidden's yeoman, and even though she knew she should she just couldn't turn it down. Couldn't turn him down.

"Of course. Always nice having you on the team Coates." Trying not to dwell on the reasons he'd asked for Coates, Harm handed her one of the file folders he was carrying as they reached the doors to the conference room. He paused, hand on the door. "That's the government's disclosure. Bud dropped it off this morning. You'll have to familiarize yourself with it pretty quickly since you didn't get to go through it with me this morning."

"Yes sir." Jen said, already opening the folder to skim through the list of charges on the cover page as she followed him into the conference room where his client was waiting.

Corporal Danny Andrews, a Marine sentry at NAS Pax River, was facing charges of dereliction of duty. An uncleared, unauthorized civilian vehicle had gained access to the base while the Corporal was on duty. It had been found abandoned two blocks from the gate; no trace of the occupants had been found.

Jen listened with only half an ear as the Commander introduced himself, and her, to the man sitting in the room. She turned to the next page in the file and stopped, shocked, as she stared down at the photo.

"Oh my..."

__

_"...goodness." Jen tossed the stack of photos she had just finished going through onto Loren's desk, just missing knocking over a family photo sitting there, and rubbed at her eyes with the heels of her palms. "I need a break. And coffee."__  
__  
Loren grinned at her from the other side of the desk. "We've only got a few more to go through and then we can call it quits for the night. We'll save the oh so exciting wire taps for tomorrow."__  
__  
Jen groaned and shook her head. Picking up a picture from the pile she had just gone through, Jen stared down at one of the suspected terrorists caught in a conversation with someone who may or may not be a part of the cell. "Between the three men you have under surveillance there must be over two dozen people they have regular contact with. You haven't been able to rule any of them out, one way or the other?"__  
__  
Loren shook her head. "No. They're either _really _good, or really stupid. Either one makes them extremely dangerous."__  
__  
Jen put the photo back on top of the proper pile and picked up the next stack. "Haven't seen this one before."__  
__  
"Hm." Loren looked over as Jen held up the picture she was referring to. "Oh, that one. That was driven by one of their infrequent visitors, um, about a week ago. Haven't seen the vehicle or the driver since. So that one we can probably rule as non-terrorist."__  
__  
Jen took another look at the SUV in the picture. "All the same, I think I'd like to avoid them whenever they're doing any maneuvering in reverse."__  
__  
They both laugh as Jen moved on to the next picture in the pile._

Jen stared down at the picture of a blue SUV.

"Coates?"

The license plate was different but the cracked driver's side taillight and dented bumper clearly identified it as the same vehicle she had seen a picture of just the other day.

"Coates."

And if it was the same vehicle, then that meant... Jen looked up from the picture and over at the man sitting on the other side of the table. He stared back at her, his brow furrowed in confusion...or perhaps suspicion.

"Jennifer!"

"Huh?" Jennifer turned to look at the Commander, only now realizing he had been calling her name for the last couple of minutes. She saw concern his concern for her in his eyes. "Yes sir?"

"Are you okay Petty Officer?"

"Ah, yes sir. I, ah, just realized I forgot my pen in my office." Jen said, backing up towards the doors.  
_  
A pen?_ Harm reached into his jacket pocket. "Here, use mine."

"But it's my lucky pen sir." Jen had the door open and had backed halfway through it by now. "I'll be back in just a minute."

Harm watched the door close behind Jennifer, a puzzled look on his face.

"Is she for real sir?"

Harm turned back to his client, the puzzled look replaced by something more stern. "If I were you Corporal, I'd worry a little less about Petty  
Officer Coates and a little more about yourself. You're in enough trouble, and your CO's determined to make an example of you..."  
_  
Lucky pen?_ Jen rolled her eyes at herself, again, as she walked into her office. _What was I thinking?_ She sat down at her desk and glanced around to see if anyone was watching her, but nobody was paying her any attention. She picked up the phone and dialed a number from memory. It was answered on the second ring.

"It's me. I found your SUV, and a Marine Corporal you might have a few questions for." Jen listened to the response, nodding her head even though she knew Loren couldn't see it. After another minute, she hung up. Jen was halfway out of her office before she remembered the pen.

When Jen got back to the conference room, Corporal Andrews was in the middle of explaining his side of things. Harm looked over at Jen as she wordlessly slid into the chair next to him. He passed her the legal pad he had used to jot down a few notes with. She accepted it with a murmured 'thanks' and then quickly got to work jotting down her own notes as the Corporal continued to speak. Turning his attention back to his client, Harm absently noted that Jen's lucky pen looked a lot like the pen he had lost in her office the week before.

The meeting was was wrapping up, and Harm was already beginning to formulate a defense strategy, when the conference room doors burst open. Harm turned around in his chair to see Clayton Webb walk into the room, followed closely by two men he'd never seen before.

"Webb? What are you..." Harm pushed his chair away from the table and stood up. "If you're looking for Mac, you're on the wrong floor."

"Actually, Rabb, I'm not here to see Sarah today." Harm watched Clay glance over at Jen, who was also standing now, their eyes meeting for a second before Clay looked back at one of the men who had come in with him. He nodded his head slightly and the two men started towards the conference table as Clay continued speaking. "I'm here for your client."

"What?" Harm cried, turning his attention to the two unnamed CIA agents who had moved around the table and reached Corporal Andrews. They started jerking him to his feet, prompting Harm to cry out again. "Hey!"

Corporal Andrews looked back and forth between the two men in confusion before turning his attention back to the man standing across from him. "Sir, what...what's going on?"

Harm looked him in the eye. "Just relax Corporal." He looked back at Webb even though he was still talking to Andrews. "They have no right to take you anywhere."

"Actually I do." Clay said. He pulled a folded up piece of paper from his inside jacket pocket as he continued speaking. "We have reason to believe the Corporal here has been aiding and abetting terrorists."

"Terrorists? No sir, no sir! I haven't done anything to help any terrorists." The panic was clear in his voice. "You have to believe me."

Clay ignored him and handed Harm the paper in his hands, watching as he unfolded it and read it. "He's coming with me."

He nodded again to his fellow agents and they started to escort Corporal Andrews out of the room, maintaining a few grip on his upper arms as they walked.

Clay looked over at Jen one more time. "Petty Officer." He said with a slight nod, then followed his men out of the room.

Harm stood frozen in his spot for a second, and then he was crumbling up the paper in his hand and following Clay out of the room. He sensed more than saw Jennifer right on his heels.

"Clay!"

Out in the hallway, the three men were waiting for the elevator. One of them took a pair of handcuffs out and put them on Corporal Andrews. The Corporal turned his head to look at Harm, his eyes pleading with him to help him.

"Clay!" Harm called out again.

This time Clay turned around but before either man could say anything the elevator doors opened and out stepped Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. Seeing Clay standing there her face lit up.

"Clay! I heard you were in the building. What are you doing here?"

Clay turned back to face Mac. When he answered her, Harm thought he heard a note of resignation in his voice. "My job Sarah."

Before she could reply, the three CIA agents used the distraction she provided to slip into the elevator with Corporal Andrews. The elevator doors quickly slid closed behind them, leaving Harm standing there with Jen and Mac. _What the hell just happened?_

2030 local time  
North of Union Station  
Washington DC

Sitting on the roof of the building, Jennifer gazed up into the sky. It was a clear night and despite the city lights several stars were visible. She had gone jogging with the Commander earlier and after they had gotten back she'd come up here.

Star gazing with her mother was among the few good memories she had of her childhood, and even now it was still something she enjoyed doing. Especially when she needed to clear her head.

One of the first things she had learned from the Agency was that there was no such thing as coincidences. And today hadn't been the first time she'd seen the CIA pick someone up for questioning. But something about this time was bothering her, and had been all afternoon. Maybe it was because, after coming face to face with real terrorists during her time on the Seahawk, Corporal Andrews protestations of innocence sounded genuine to her. Or maybe it was just guilt over an act that could be seen as a betrayal of the Commander's trust. Either way it meant she was in trouble.

The sound of the door to the roof opening behind her drew her out of her thoughts. Knowing that not many people came up here, Jen's hand slipped under the towel lying next to her where she had placed her service weapon. She hadn't really expected to need it up here but Jen didn't like the idea of leaving a loaded gun in the apartment when Mattie was there by herself.

The slight breeze brought with it the scent of a familiar shampoo and Jen relaxed slightly, pulling her empty hand back out from under the sweat dampened towel. She listened as the quiet footsteps drew closer to her.

Harm approached Jen slowly. She had to know that someone else was on the roof with her, there was no way she couldn't have heard the squeaky door opening, but she hadn't turned around and Harm wasn't sure what that meant. As he got closer to her, Harm saw she was still wearing her jogging clothes. While he had gotten a shower after they had gotten back, Jen must have come straight up here.

His eyes lingered on her back where part of her tattoo was visible because of the tank top she was wearing. He'd been more than a little surprised when he saw it the first time they had gone jogging together. Grinning sheepishly when he'd asked her about it, Jen had explained that it was a product of her rebellious teenage years.

Now, as they had every time he'd looked at it since then, his hands ached to reach out and trace the wings on her back. He tried to push it out of his mind, knowing it was highly inappropriate considering the differences in their ranks, but it always seemed to stay at the corner of his mind.

Along with an even more inappropriate desire to see the rest of the tattoo. He had the basic idea of what it looked like of course, Jen had told him that also - two hearts joined together in a figure eight with angel's wings attached to the sides, but hearing about it and seeing it were two different things. When he'd commented that that didn't sound very rebellious-y, she'd merely said that her mother had had a necklace with that design, and then changed the subject.

"Hey," Harm said once he was standing next to her. "Mattie told me that you'd come up here."

"Yeah. The view's not as good as it was on the Seahawk, but on a good night you can still get a decent look at the stars."

Harm looked down at her then and noticed she was rubbing one of her legs - the leg she had just gotten out of the cast. Shaking his head, Harm sat down across from her and, carefully stretching out her leg, started to massage it, kneading his fingers into her soft, smooth flesh.

"I told you you needed to take it easy for awhile." But she had insisted and finally Harm had relented. Even so they had only gone out for a fraction of the time he normally did, although even that had apparently been too much for her.

"Okay, okay." Jen said, trying to ignore the way his hands on her skin was making her feel. "You were right. Is that what you want to hear?"

"It's a start." Harm said.

He grinned at her in the way that always made her insides melt and sent a rush of desire through her. She closed her eyes, pretending for a moment that they were just two regular people, who were free to explore their attraction for each other.  
_  
Not that he thinks about me like that,_ Jen thought with regret.

Harm continued to massage Jen's leg, glancing up into the evening sky as he did so. She was right; all things considered, there was a decent view this evening. After a few more minutes, he ceased his movements, lightly patting her calf to indicate he had finished. Jen opened her eyes and for a moment Harm thought he saw a flash of disappointment, quickly hidden, in her eyes. It was there and gone so quickly, though, that he convinced himself it was just his imagination.

"How's that? Better?"

"Much. Thank you sir."

Realizing his hands were still on her leg, Harm quickly pulled them back, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Well, we should probably head back downstairs now. I told Mattie I was coming up here to get you so we could order dinner. She's probably wondering what's taking so long."

Jen watched him get to his feet and thought about telling him she was going to stay up here a while longer. But then he held his hand out to help her up and without any hesitation she took it, pulling herself into a standing position. A cold shower would work just as well as the cool night air in helping to calm her hormones, and she could stay out here the rest of the night and she doubted she'd get any more clarity about her work situation.

Harm bent to grab her towel, still lying on the ground, but Jen got to it before he could, scooping it up before he could get a hold of it. At his questioning look, she just shrugged.

"It's all sweaty sir." Hearing the words that just came out of her mouth, Jen mentally smacked herself in the forehead. _Come on Coates. Twice in one day? You used to be better at coming up with cover stories._

"So," Harm said as they started walking towards the door leading back downstairs, "I think Mattie's got her heart set on pizza but we just had that the other night and I heard about this new Thai place that just opened up. I thought maybe we could give that a try.

"Either one sounds good to me sir."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

1000 local time  
CIA Headquarters  
Langley, Virginia

"Here's the background on Andrews."

Loren handed Clay a file as the two of them walked down a hallway together.

"Anything interesting?" Clay asked as he opened the folder and started skimming the contents.

"Well, it turns out that Corporal Andrews has a slight gambling problem."

Clay turned a page and whistled. "If you can call owing over six thousand dollars a _slight_ problem." He paused when they reached the door at the end of the hallway. Pulling out his security badge before Loren could reach hers, he swiped it through the reader next to the door, giving the two of them access to the secure room beyond. He continued speaking as they stepped through the doorway. "That right there could very well be how they got to him."

"Maybe." Loren answered, although her tone of voice indicated disagreement. Walking further into the room, she stopped in front of the two-way mirror that took up the entire length of the far wall. It looked into an interrogation room with a single occupant. Corporal Andrews was sitting at the table, fidgeting nervously and trying unsuccessfully to hide it. "Look at his bank records. There's no sign of any large deposits _or_ withdrawals. So he's either telling the truth about his part in all this, or-"

"Or he's more than just an unwitting accomplice."

Loren nodded. Picking up an earpiece, she placed it in her left ear before taking the file back from Clay and walking out of the control room through a side door. A moment later she walked into the interrogation room.

Loren watched Corporal Andrews stop his fidgeting and straighten up at the sight of her, a defiant look now on his face. She ignored it. She walked over to the table and sat down across from him. Loren sat the file on the table between them but left it closed for the moment. She rested her hand on top of it.

"You haven't been completely honest with me Corporal Andrews. You neglected to mention your gambling debts in any of our previous conversations. Why is that?"

"I want a lawyer."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I know my rights. I'm not saying anything else till I get a lawyer." He sat back and crossed his arms, a self-satisfied look on his face.

"Well you're in luck then." Loren said, standing up. Her chair scraped along the floor as it was pushed back slightly. Pressing her palms flat onto the surface of the table, Loren leaned over it. She stared down at Andrews, her eyes as cold as ice. When she spoke again her voice was even colder. "I am a lawyer."

She continued to stare down at Andrews and he paled, swallowing nervously. A second later he deflated, all traces of defiance leaving him.

Loren sat back down. She pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and set them on the table. She pushed them over to Andrews.

"We're not total monsters here."

"Thanks, but I don't smoke." He said, picking at the hem of his shirt sleeve, unable to meet her eyes.

"You don't" Loren said, feigning confusion. "But this whole time that's what you've been saying you were doing, taking an unauthorized smoke break leaving the guardhouse empty when the SUV came through the gate."

His head snapped up, his eyes finally meeting hers again. Too late he realized the trap he'd walked into. "Well, um..."

Loren's eyes grew cold again. "That's the second time you've lied to me. I'd advise against trying for a third time."

If possible Corporal Andrews grew even more pale. Sinking further down into his seat, he glanced around the room as if looking for any sign of help. His eyes rested briefly on the mirror on the side wall before focusing again on Loren.

"Okay, okay. I let them in. But they were just supposed to be smuggling contraband onto the base - dirty magazines and cheap cigarettes and alcohol. Stuff like that." He lowered his voice a little. "They said they'd give me a cut if I let them in."

Loren nodded. Finally, they were starting to get somewhere. She glanced over at the mirror, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her lips, before turning her attention back to Andrews. "Now, let's start at the beginning. And try not to leave anything out this time."

1300 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Excuse me, is this Admiral Chegwidden's office?"

Jen looked up from the memo she was in the middle of typing up and focused on the man standing in front of her desk. "Yes. Can I help you?"

"Well I certainly hope so." He said smiling down at her. "I have an appointment; Theodore Brande."

"Oh." Jen blinked in surprise, giving the man in front of her a second look. He was dressed in a ratty old pair of blue jeans and a faded t-shirt extolling a band she had never heard of. A well worn flannel shirt, left unbuttoned with the back hanging out, completed the look. Not exactly what she had expected from a man nominated for a Pulitzer for human interest pieces he'd written while embedded with a Marine unit in Iraq.

"Oh. She said again. "I'll just let the Admiral know you're here."

His smile grew wider as he seemed to guess what she had been thinking. "Not quite what you were expecting? Yeah the whole 'dress to impress' thing never caught on, especially after Iraq. Doesn't affect my performance one bit, though, I assure you."

"Good to know." Jen said, trying not to laugh. _Did he really mean that the way I think he did?_ "I'll let the Admiral know you're here."

She picked up the phone and pressed the intercom button. After a second Admiral Chegwidden answered. "Sir, the reporter from the Post is here...sir," Jen glanced up at Brande but he was looking around at the rest of the office. She continued speaking, in a quieter voice. "You've already rescheduled twice now...Yes, sir."

Jen hung up the phone. "If you'd care to have a seat Mr. Brande, Admiral Chegwidden will be with you in just a few minutes."

Brande turned his attention back to Jen. "Aces." He leaned across Jen's desk, a charming smile on his face. "Why don't you call me Teddy."  
_  
A-hem_

Harm cleared his throat, feeling a sense of satisfaction when the man leaning over Jen straightened up and took a step back. When he'd walked into her office and saw the man trying to flirt with her, he'd had a sudden urge to grab him by the scruff of his neck and toss him across the room. The only thing that stopped him was recognizing Jen was giving him her 'professional' smile, and not a genuine one.

Harm moved further into the office and Mr. 'call me Teddy,' whoever he was, moved over to one of the chairs and sat down.

"Coates, can you let the Admiral know I'm going to be out of the office for a while, possibly for the rest of the afternoon."

"Sure Commander. Where should I tell him you'll be?"

"Langley. Webb's had Corporal Andrews for long enough. And I'm not leaving there without him."

Jen nodded. She wasn't surprised by the Commander's decision; she _was_ surprised that he'd waited this long. Clay had to know it was coming, too. She wasn't sure how he would respond to Harm's demand though. While things had seemed so promising a couple of days ago after Loren's breakthrough, it now seemed as if they'd hit another dead end. So Clay could take this opportunity and cut their losses, or he could dig in his heels in the hopes that something would break if they just gave it a little more time.

Jen watched the Commander leave her office then turned her attention back to her typing.

"I'm sorry, I just remembered I have to call my editor about a piece that's running today."

Jen looked up again to find Brande back in front of her desk. He shrugged her shoulders when she arched an eyebrow at him.

"It's about some last minute changes that need to be made before it goes to press. One of my sources transposed a few numbers...I still have a couple minutes, right?"

"At least." Jen muttered under her breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Ah, yes, you've got a few minutes."

"Aces! I'll be right back." Brande flashed her another smile then left her office.

"Just make it quick!" Jen called after him before turning her attention back to her work.

* * *

"Rabb."

Harm turned away from the CIA's memorial wall at the sound of his name. Another star had gone up on the wall since he'd last been here. For a moment he wondered who it was for, and what had happened to them. He pushed those thoughts away so he could focus on the matter at hand. He watched Clayton Webb walk towards him.

"Webb."

Clay stopped when he was about a foot away from Harm. "So, is this a social visit or do you have a reason for interrupting my day?"

"You know why I'm here Clay." He continued to stare evenly at Webb. "I want Corporal Andrews."

"And if I say no?"

Harm smirked at him. "You're not going to say no."

"What makes you so sure of that?"

"You wouldn't have come down here if you were going to say no. Now why don't you stop wasting both our time and go get Corporal Andrews."

Clay didn't respond, just turned his head to look back over his shoulder. Harm also focused his attention behind Clay and saw two men escorting a handcuffed Corporal Andrews towards them. As they got closer, Clay tossed something to Harm, who caught it reflexively; he looked down to see it was the handcuff keys.

"Tell Sarah I said hi."

Without another word, Clay turned and headed back the way he came.

The two men who'd brought Corporal Andrews out did not do the same though. They stood there, arms folded across their chests, and watched Harm escort Andrews out of the building. At the car, Harm removed the handcuffs. Andrews said nothing, just rubbed his wrists before getting in the back. Andrews remained silent until after they had passed through the checkpoint and left CIA headquarters behind.

Turned slightly in his seat, Andrews watched the buildings grow smaller and smaller behind them. He breathed a sigh of relief. Then he turned back around, focusing his attention on Harm. "Thanks for getting me out of there sir. That blond lady," he paused and shuddered. "She's scary."

"Not as scary as your court-martial's going to be now that the government's got a whole bunch of new charges to add." Harm glanced into the rear view mirror in time to catch the 'deer in the headlights' look on Andrews' face. Andrews doesn't respond, though, and Harm doesn't say anything else either, returning his attention to his driving.

They were about halfway back to Falls Church when a pickup truck that had been behind them for the last couple of miles suddenly started inching closer till it was right up on their bumper. Harm glanced into the rear view mirror, frowning when the dark window tinting wouldn't let him see the driver of the other vehicle.

The truck stayed like that for the next couple of miles, even when Harm accelerated slightly to put some distance between the two vehicles. Deciding that it would be safer to just let them go on ahead, Harm rolled his window down and waved for them to pass. After a moment, the driver of the truck started to do exactly that, coming up beside the government sedan. Harm glanced over for a second, still unable to make out the occupants of the vehicle, before focusing back on the road before him.

Instead of continuing past them, the moment Harm's attention is no longer focused on the other vehicle, the truck suddenly veered into them. Caught by surprise, the sedan is pushed over onto the shoulder of the road before Harm recovered and jerked the wheel back, fighting against the truck.

"Holy shit, sir!" Andrews cried, reaching out to brace himself against the front seat.

Harm ignored him, gritting his teeth as he fought to maintain control of the vehicle. The truck was still trying to force them off of the road, the horrific screeching of metal scraping against metal in the air.

Then, unexpectedly, the truck pulled away from the sedan and fell back. Startled, Harm reflexively took his foot off the gas. That was the only thing that saved their lives. A moment later an explosion tore into the front of the vehicle, lifting the sedan and flipping it over.

* * *

When Harm opened his eyes he was suspended upside down, his seat belt the only thing keeping him from falling onto the roof, now the floor, of the car. With some effort he managed to get himself untangled and out of the car. Stumbling away from the vehicle, he felt something warm sliding down the side of his face. He wiped at it, his hand coming away sticky from his blood.

"Corporal Andrews?" He called weakly, looking around for the other man.

Not seeing him anywhere, Harm stooped down and looked into the back of the car. The Corporal was on the floor, unconscious. Harm tried opening the door but it was stuck so he stumbled around to the other side. When that one wouldn't open either, he kicked in the window. He was in the process of pulling the young man out of the car when he heard the sound of crunching glass; someone was coming up behind him.

"Thank goodness!" Harm called out. He didn't turn around, just kept trying to pull the Corporal out of the car. "Can you give me a hand here? The gas tank could go any minute."

The blow to the back of his head was unexpected and he collapsed, losing consciousness.

When Harm came to, he saw to masked men standing next to the car. One of them had Corporal Andrews unconscious form slung over his shoulder. He gestured in Harm's direction and Harm thought he heard something that sounded like "no witnesses." He turned to go while the second man started towards Harm.

Harm tried to move but all his efforts go him was fading consciousness. He struggled to stay awake, knowing if he blacked out now he won't ever wake up.

The man was two feet away from him when suddenly his head exploded in a shower of red gore. Harm was dimly aware of more shots being fired and the sound of squealing tires as he lost his fight to stay awake. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a flash of blond hair as he blacked out again.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A big Thank You to everyone who's been reading this, and especially to those of you who've left comments!

1800 local time  
St. Joseph's Hospital  
Falls Church Virginia

"Is he okay?"

"You shouldn't be here."

Consciousness returned slowly to Harm. The first thing he became aware of was the voices. Two females, both sounding vaguely familiar, spoke quietly somewhere off to the side.

"Please! I have to see him."

"He's okay. A slight concussion, some cuts and bruises; he'll be sore for a while but he'll be fine."

The near panic and desperation he heard in the first voice confused him and he continued struggling to wake up.

"You need to leave before he wakes up. If he sees you..."

Harm opened his eyes, blinking them a couple of times. He found himself staring up at old, water-stained ceiling tiles. Wherever he was, he was lying on his back. Feeling a pinching sensation on the back of his left hand he turned his head slightly to see an IV there. He was in a hospital then. He slowly turned his head some more, trying to take in the rest of his surroundings.

Remembering the voices he'd heard, he tried to locate the people he'd overheard. Sitting in a chair by the door, he saw a blond haired woman. Remembering the flash of blond hair he'd caught before blacking out, he focused on her face, and got the shock of his life!

"Loren?"

Loren looked up at the sound of his voice. "You're awake."

She got up and walked over to the side of his bed. Seeing the flabbergasted look on his face, she grinned. "Nice to see you again too Commander."

Harm opened and closed his mouth several times but no sound came out. Finally, he found his voice. "But how...I mean, what are you...?"

Loren deliberately misunderstood his questions. "Did you really think we'd just let you walk off with our only link to a terrorist cell?"

Harm's jaw dropped as understanding dawned. "You're CIA."

Harm watched as Loren nodded. He tried to push himself slightly upright and groaned at the pain. He looked around the room again. "Was there someone else here? I thought I heard you talking to someone."

Loren looked at him, confusion on her face. "Your doctor was in here a few minutes ago..."

"No, she sounded upset..." Seeing Loren still didn't seem to know what he was talking about, Harm shook his head, regretting the action when his head started throbbing. "Never mind. How's Andrews doing?"

"I don't know." At Harm's questioning look she continued. "They took him, remember? Right after they tried to blow the both of you up. I wasn't able to stop them."

"Then what are we still doing here?" Harm cried as her words triggered more memories of what had happened. He struggled to throw the blankets off and get out of bed. He groaned again and Loren easily pushed him back down.

"You falling flat on your face isn't going to help Corporal Andrews one bit. You've just been through a very traumatic experience. _And_ you have a concussion. You need to rest."

Harm crossed his arms and glared at her but said nothing.

"I am working on trying to find Corporal Andrews." She ignored the arched eyebrow Harm gave her and continued. "_In order to do that,_ I need to know everything you can remember about what happened, no matter how insignificant it might seem."

"You're the blond Andrews mentioned."

"That depends on what he said." Loren answered absentmindedly as she pulled a pocket recorder out of her purse, as well as a notepad and a pen.

Harm stared at her, his original questions about her coming back now. "Loren, how did you-"

Knowing how that question was going to end, Loren cut him off. Even if she wanted to talk about what had happened, they didn't have the time for it. She pushed away the lingering guilt that always came with thoughts of that night. "Focus Harm. Corporal Andrews?"

"Right." Harm exhaled noisily. "Okay; they were driving a silver pickup, dark tinted windows..."

2015 local time  
CIA Headquarters  
Langley, Virginia

"Thanks. Keep me posted." Loren hung up the phone and turned back to Clay. "That was the lab coats. They finished their preliminary analysis on the bomb remains. It was a remote controlled detonation. Which explains why it exploded when it did. They must have triggered it when they pulled back, expecting Harm to keep going at the speed that he had been."

Loren shook her head. "If he hadn't taken his foot off the gas when he did, the car would have been right on top of it."

Clay shook his head. "The infamous Rabb luck."

Loren nodded in agreement, then continued. "They're working on trying to trace the bomb's components now. I don't think that will get us anywhere though. They said most of them can be found at any basic electronics store."

Clay nodded, rubbing his forehead. "Any luck identifying the one you shot?"

"Not yet."

"We're running out of time."

Before Loren can respond, there's a knock on her door. Her assistant walked in and whispered something in her ear. Glancing at Clay when he had finished, the young man hastily retreated, closing the door behind him.

"Well?" Clay asked impatiently.

Loren sighed. "DC police just pulled a body out of the Potomac. Initial descriptions match that of Corporal Andrews."

"_Damn_ it!" Clay lashed out, kicking the closest object within reach. Loren winced at the dent he left in her filing cabinet. "I never should have let him go."

"We let him go to see if they might approach him again. We both agreed he was a dead end otherwise. They hadn't taken him anywhere, his descriptions of them were vague to the point of uselessness..."

"I know, I know." Clay said in frustration. "Which is why it just doesn't make any sense that they would go to this much trouble, and risk...unless, unless he knew something after all!"

"No." Loren said matter-of-factly. "If he knew anything, he would have told me."

"He didn't realize he knew, then." Clay paused. "Loren, they killed him for a reason. And I want to know what it was. Start going back over everything - every tape, every transcript. Get Coates to help you. She needs something to take her mind off of this. And the last thing we need is for her to end up playing nursemaid to Rabb."

Loren nodded, at the same time thinking it might have been a good thing she hadn't mentioned her friend's hospital visit in her initial report.

Clay started walking out of her office, speaking over his shoulder as he went. "I want to know whatever it was they didn't want Andrews sharing."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

0900 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm stepped out of the elevator and winced as he was jostled from behind by a junior officer hurrying to get to court. Harm stared after the Ensign for a second, who is his haste hadn't even acknowledged running into a senior officer, then shrugged and turned towards the bullpen, deciding to head there first before going to his office.

He hadn't been officially cleared to return to work yet, but neither had the doctors said that he couldn't. They had kept him overnight at the hospital for observation, then sent him home with an admonition to take it easy. But after spending the weekend lying in bed while Mattie hovered over him, he was anxious to get back to work.

Pushing through the double doors into the bullpen, the first person he saw, or rather who saw him, was Mac. Frowning slightly she walked over to him, coffee cup in hand.

"Harm, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be taking it easy for another day or two?"

"I'm fine Mac, just a little sore." Unconsciously he reached up to his forehead, his fingers brushing the bandage covering the gash he'd gotten in the accident. Seeing Mac's eyes track upward, following his movements, Harm realized what he was doing and lowered his hand. He started walking again, moving further into the bullpen.

Mac turned back the way she'd come so she could walk with him. "I would have come to the hospital to see how you were doing, but Clay said we should probably let you rest."  
_  
That was probably for the best._ Harm thought.

Loren had told him that because of Corporal Andrews' kidnapping and the link to terrorists, they wanted to keep quiet about what had actually happened. Instead, the official story was that he had lost control of the car (he'd only grudgingly consented to go along with that, and then only after Loren had threatened to place _him_ in lock-down until they found Andrews) and it had flipped. And while he had walked away from the accident with minor bruising, Corporal Andrews, who hadn't been wearing a seat belt, had been thrown from the car and was in critical condition.

If Mac had come to see him, she probably would have wanted to check on her fellow Marine also, which would have presented a problem. And was probably the real reason Webb had kept her away.

"It's fine Mac." Harm said. Without thinking he kept talking. "You'll never believe who did come see me, though. Loren Singer."

"_Lieutenant_ Loren Singer?" Mac stopped in the middle of the bullpen, causing Harm to pause too. She turned and stared at him in disbelief. "Harm, she's dead. They tried to court-martial you for her _murder_, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but she was..." Harm trailed off, too late realizing his mistake. He couldn't explain what Loren had been doing there (hell, he couldn't even explain how she was _able_ to be there since she'd sidestepped the question every time he'd tried to ask) and without that explanation Mac would never believe him. Even with an explanation she'd probably chalk it up to his concussion.

He fell silent, deciding it would be better if he just dropped it. He watched Mac toy with her half-empty coffee cup, waiting to see if he would say anything else. Over her shoulder he suddenly noticed Jennifer, walking toward her office, a stack of files in her arms. Quickly excusing himself from Mac, ignoring the miffed look on her face, Harm moved to follow Jennifer. When she reached her office she dropped the files on her desk and turned around, jumping back in surprise, one hand pressed to her chest, when she saw him standing just inside the doorway.

"You scared me sir. I didn't realize you were standing there." Jen stared at him, fighting the urge to throw her arms around him, desperately wanting the reassurance the physical contact would bring. Instead, she lowered her hand and took a few slow deep breathes, trying to get her heart rate back under control. She'd have to settle for just the sight of him on his feet before her, instead of flat on his back unconscious as he'd been when she'd gotten a brief glance at him at the hospital.

"Sorry Jen." Harm paused and moved further into her office. "Didn't see much of you this weekend, just wanted to make sure everything was okay."  
_  
He's the one who was almost killed and he's asking how _I _am?_

"Sorry about that sir. Something...unexpected came up and it was kind of unavoidable." Unable to stop herself, she reached out a hand to lightly touch the bandage on his forehead. "I would have been there if I could."

They stare into each others eyes for a moment before Jen looked away. She drew her hand back before she could get either of them in trouble.  
After a minute she looked back at him again. "Are you sure you should be coming back to work so soon, though, sir?"

"I'll be fine Jen." He reassured her.

He looked down at her, seeing her look at him with so much concern for him in her eyes, and for a second he flashed back to his other visitor, the one Loren had denied was even there. The thing that he remembered most clearly was that she'd seemed so desperately concerned about him. For a moment he wondered if it had been Jen, but then he mentally shook himself, realizing how ridiculous the idea was. He found himself opening up to her all the same.

"Loren Singer was there, at the hospital." Misinterpreting the surprised look on Jen's face, he hurried to continue. "I know how that sounds, but she was. And, there was someone else too. I don't know who it was, although there was something familiar about her..."

Jen stood there, staring at him in shock as Harm trailed off. _How am I supposed to respond to that? I don't want to lie to him, but he can't go be going around telling everyone he saw Loren alive, either._ Deciding to just try to brush it off, she chuckled. "Loren Singer? The woman NCIS thought you'd killed last year? I think maybe that blow to the head was a little harder than they thought it was."

Harm felt a flash of disappointment. He'd thought if anyone would believe him, it would be Jen. Then, on the heels of his disappointment came confusion. If even Jen didn't believe him, maybe he really _hadn't _seen Loren. It certainly wouldn't be the first time he hallucinated something after a blow to the head.

Slowly he nodded his head, accepting her words. He turned to leave the office, Jen already regretting what she'd done. She bit her tongue, though, before she could say something she shouldn't. She watched him go, wishing things could be different.

She turned back to her desk, and the mountain of paperwork awaiting her.

Harm moved back through the bullpen, headed towards his out of the way office, wondering if maybe he should go back home after all. As he walked, acknowledging the occasional well-wisher, he felt something start to nag at him about Jen's words.

1900 local time  
North of Union Station  
Washington DC

Jennifer unlocked the door to her apartment and walked inside, leaning back against the door for a second after she'd pushed it closed with her foot. It had been a long, but ultimately productive day, the fruits of which were tucked safely under the front seat of her car. And before leaving JAG, she'd called Carla and asked if they could meet for 'coffee' another night. So now she was looking forward to a night off, vegging in front of the TV. And Mattie was over at a friend's house studying and wouldn't be home for a little while yet so she actually had the place to herself. With a sigh she straightened up, using her elbow to flick the switch to turn the lights on as she started moving further into the apartment.

The illumination revealed Harmon Rabb sitting in a chair a few feet in front of her. She cried out in surprise, dropping the bag of Chinese takeout she had been carrying.

"Shit sir! What are you doing here?" For the second time that day she found her hand pressed to her chest, her heart racing. A second later she realized her other hand was in her purse, having reached for her gun reflexively in the split second before she'd recognized him. Taking a deep breath, she nonchalantly pulled her hand back out of her purse. She looked at him again and started getting apprehensive. Something about the way he was looking at her told her he wasn't there waiting for Mattie.

"How did you know I got hit in the head?"  
_  
Oh shit!_ Jen froze. After a second she forced herself to move, stooping down to pick up her dinner from where it still lay on the floor. She took it over to the kitchen area, setting the bag down on the counter.

"I don't know what you're talking about sir."

"I think you do." Harm stood and walked over so he was standing behind her. He watched her take the food cartons out of the bag, then start toying with one of them rather than turn around and face him.

"Your comment this morning, about how the blow to my head must have been harder than you though? It was bothering me all day and I couldn't figure out why. And then it hit me - nobody at JAG should have known about that. Nobody at JAG should have known _anything_ about what really happened."  
_  
Way to make a rookie mistake Coates._ She racked her brain, trying to come up with a way to fix this. But the barely noticeable scent of his shampoo was distracting and the only thing she could think of she just couldn't bring herself to say to him.

Finally Jen turned around so she was facing him. "I think you just misunderstood me sir."

He took another step towards her, and suddenly her heart was beating faster for another reason. He seemed oblivious to how he was affecting her, though, as he continued speaking.

"It seemed pretty straightforward to me. Not much room for misunderstanding." He paused. "Just tell me the truth Jen."

She needed to walk away, leave before the situation spun totally out of control. Instead, she moved closer. Before he could react she reached out to him, pulling him down to her. And then she was pressing her lips to his.

Caught by surprise, Harm hesitated a second then wrapped his arms around her surrendering completely to the kiss. He was vaguely aware of a little internal voice crying out about the regs, but in that moment the rules just didn't seem to matter. He tongue probed gently at her lips, trying to deepen the kiss.

"Mmff...I can't, we can't" Jen cried, pushing slightly at his chest as she pulled back. Feeling him start to respond to her had been like a splash of cold water, bringing her back to reality. She took a couple of steps away from him, turning her back to him. _What have I done?_

Harm blinked at her, thrown off balance. "Isn't that my line?" He asked, somewhat confused. She was the one who started this after all.

"I'm sorry sir, I shouldn't have done that." She paused, still not looking at him. "I think you should go now."

Harm stared at her, trying to figure out what was going on inside her head. Her face was flushed and her breathing was coming in ragged gasps. She was obviously just as affected as he was by what had happened.

"Jen..."

He reached out a hand to her but she moved away before he could touch her. She walked over to the door and opened it, her eyes glued to the floor.

"Please sir."

Harm stared at her another second, then sighed and walked towards the door. She closed it as soon as he was outside and a moment later he heard the click of the lock being turned.

It was only after he was back in his own apartment that he realized she had never answered his questions.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

0930 local time  
CIA Headquarters  
Langley, Virginia

"Is this everything?"

Jen nodded. Setting a stack of files on Loren's desk, she dropped into one of the empty chairs across from it. "Every conversation the Navy had with Corporal Andrews about the incident. There's also a copy of the official investigation report in there. The bottom file has the names and duty stations of Naval personnel that should be placed under surveillance. They match the profile I developed based on what we know about Corporal Andrews."

"Mm. Thanks Jen." Loren pulled the top file of the stack, biting into a bear claw as she opened it. Without looking up she waved the hand with the pastry towards a corner of her office. "There's a couple more of these and some of those cinnamon frie things you like over there. Help yourself."

"No thanks." Jen said absently, and pulled the next file from the pile. She'd taken half a day of leave so she could come over here and drop this off so she had some time before she had to be back at JAG.

Loren looked up in surprise, really looking at her friend for the first time since she'd entered the office. She frowned slightly at what she saw. "Are you okay? You don't seem like yourself today."

"Do you ever miss it?" At Loren's confused look, Jen clarified. "Everything you gave up. I know you liked the Navy, and you were a good lawyer."

"Wow, no light ones today, huh?" Loren closed the folder in front of her, bear claw forgotten, focusing completely on Jen. "It wasn't easy making that decision. And it wasn't because I didn't love Dylan. I had invested years of my life into that assignment. Not to mention I was doing something important, that helped save lives. And yes, I liked being a field agent.

"Dylan and I met while I was still in training. He knew what he was getting into, or so I kept telling myself anyway. But then I almost lost Abby." Loren paused then, picking up one of the pictures sitting on her desk. Her eyes softened and she smiled down at the laughing little girl in the picture, running a finger along the image of her daughter's cheek. After a moment she set the picture frame back down on her desk and looked back up at Jen.

"And I realized what was really important to me They could always get someone else to do my job. They did." Loren said, gesturing to Jen. "But I would never be able to replace what I had with Dylan.

"Yeah, when I have to go into court, I'll glance over at the prosecution's table or over at the defense, and for a minute or two I'll miss it. But I still get to make a difference doing what I do now. And I still get out in the field on short term assignments." She looked Jen in the eye. "And I wouldn't trade my family for anything."

Jen was silent a moment, digesting everything she'd just heard. Some of it she had already known, some of it she hadn't.

"So where is this coming from?"

"I kissed him." Jen didn't say who _he_ was; she didn't have to. "And he kissed me back."

"Wow." Loren wasn't all that surprised by the first statement, just that it had taken as long as it had to happen, but she hadn't been expecting the second. "How did..."

"I came home last night and found him waiting in my apartment." Jen toyed with her fingers, unable to look Loren in the eye. "He'd caught a slip I'd made earlier in the day and wanted an explanation. So he's going on about that and I'm standing there a foot away from him and all I could think about was how I almost lost him. And then, I wasn't thinking anymore."

"You're thinking about telling him." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. No. I don't know." Jen shook her head and scrubbed her hands over her face. She finally looked back up at Loren. "He was probably just reacting to a willing female body and would have responded the same way to anyone."

"Oh that's bull and you know it." Loren said emphatically. "Even _I_ know Harmon Rabb isn't that kind of person." She held up a hand to caution Jen and continued speaking. "Which doesn't mean that he wasn't reacting to his situation, just like you were."

"I wasn't-"

"Jen," Loren said, cutting her off. "You've been that close to him before, closer even from some of the things you've told me, and were able to maintain your self-control."

Loren reached across her desk to grasp Jen's hand, squeezing it comfortingly. Her voice took on a more compassionate tone. "You said it yourself - you were thinking about how he almost died. Clay and I kept you busy all weekend so you wouldn't dwell on what happened but it also meant you weren't able to process your emotions either. They're still pretty raw where this is concerned. And I'm sure his are too. Just...don't make any decisions right away, okay? Give yourself time to figure out if you can live with the consequences."

* * *

Sitting in his office, Harm stared sightlessly down at the brief in front of him. He was due in court in a few hours and he was supposed to be doing some last minute case preparation, but instead, all he could think about was what had happened last night.

If he closed his eyes he could still feel the press of Jen's lips against his, could still taste a hint of strawberries from her favorite lip-gloss. And he knew he was in trouble. While he'd known for a while now that he found Jennifer Coates attractive, his reaction to the kiss last night had revealed his feelings for her had somehow gotten a lot deeper than that.

Trying to distract himself from those thoughts, Harm found himself once again considering the possibility of Jen being his mystery visitor. It certainly seemed a lot more plausible now. But if that was the case, why not just tell him?

And it didn't explain why she had reacted the way that she had. He still didn't understand why Jen had started it only to pull away when he started to respond to her. For a moment he had considered that it had been a ploy to distract him from his questions, but he had quickly dismissed that idea. Jen would never do something like that to someone she cared about.

But if she cared about him, why was she lying to him? He'd like to believe he'd just misunderstood what she'd meant when she made that comment. But her lack of a reaction to his comment that more had happened in the accident than the JAG staff knew about said otherwise.

Except that she wasn't lying to him, not really. Just keeping something from him. She'd had an opportunity to lie to him when he was questioning her and she chose to try to deflect his questions. So maybe there was a reasonable explanation for all this after all.

Harm groaned in frustration and flung his pen across the room. He massaged his temples, feeling a headache coming on as his thoughts kept going round and round on this.  
_  
Knock Knock Knock_

"Um, excuse me."

Harm looked up to find a slightly unkempt man standing in the doorway to his office.

"I'm looking for a Commander Rabb. They told me his office was down this way, but I'm starting to think somebody was just having some fun at my expense."

Grateful for the distraction, Harm gave the guy a second look. He frowned slightly, thinking there was something vaguely familiar about him. Despite that, he waved him into the office. "No, you're in the right place. I'm Commander Rabb."

"Aces." The man said, stepping fully into the office. He stuck out his hand. "Theodore Brande."  
_  
Now I know why he seemed familiar. Mr. 'Call me Teddy.' Terrific. _Struggling to keep his thoughts off of his face and his sudden spike of jealousy under control, Harm grasped the other man's hand, being sure to squeeze a little harder than he should for a little longer than he should. "What can I do for you Mr. Brande?"

Finally freeing his hand from Harm's grip, Brande worked the fingers of that hand for a moment, making sure there was no permanent damage. Harm watched the other man's eyes track upward, stopping on the gash on his forehead. He'd left the bandage off this morning, choosing instead the butterfly strips. So the wound was clearly visible.

"Ooh. That looks nasty. Guess the photos'll have to wait for another day."

"Photos? For what? What are you doing here?" Harm asked, confused now.

"I was here the other day to talk to Admiral Chegwidden for this piece I'm doing. My editor was so impressed with the rough copy that he ok'd a whole series of articles."

"About the Admiral?" Harm asked, not seeing what that had to do with him.

"No, about the whole JAG staff here." Brande said in a 'well, duh' tone of voice, already pulling a notepad out of the pocket of his flannel shirt. "Admiral Chegwidden said everyone is to cooperate fully and give me whatever assistance I need. Something about good press always being valuable?"  
_  
Terrific._ Harm thought again. But he really didn't see any way out of it so he mentally prepared himself for the reporter's questions. He put aside his thoughts about Jen and everything going on with her, resolving to come back to them later.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A/N: My apologies for how long it took to update this. I was having computer issues again. It's _so_ much fun having to share a computer with someone. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it.

0930 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Jennifer stood in front of the door to Harm's office, trying to gather up her courage. She'd wanted to talk to him yesterday but by the time she got back to JAG he was already in court, so she hadn't seen him for the rest of the day.

She'd decided to be honest with him, despite Loren's cautions. She knew her friend was only trying to look out for her, but if there was even the slightest chance Harm felt the same way about her that she felt about him, she had to go for it. How could she not? She could accept whatever consequences there were.

She raised her hand, preparing to knock on the door.  
_  
You're too valuable in your current assignment...__  
_  
Clay's words echoed in her ears and she paused. She'd all but laughed it off when he said that to her months ago. But this whole thing with Corporal Andrews showed just how true it really was. The Navy hadn't recognized the significance of what had happened, and the CIA might never have known about it if she hadn't been where she was.

Slowly she lowered her hand. She might be willing to accept the consequences of her decision, but what about everyone else? As much as she wanted to, she couldn't do anything that might jeopardize her position here. She had to think of the bigger picture. Even if it meant sacrificing her own desires.

Before she can turn away and go back to her office, Harm's office door opened. Startled, she took a step back.

Frozen in the doorway to his office, Harm blinked, surprised to see Jennifer standing before him. He'd been on his way to her office, and he hadn't expected to find her standing here in front of his. Realizing his gaze had drifted a little lower than it should have, he forced himself to focus on her face, trying to ignore his new found awareness of how he felt about her.

"Jen." He stared at her for a minute, watching her fidget nervously. "What are you doing over here?"

"I, ah..." Jen stuttered, trying to think of something to say. Coming face to face with him so soon after having made her decision was seriously testing her resolve. She needed to find away to get away, and quickly.

Oblivious to her inner turmoil, Harm continued. "Never mind. I was actually on my way to see you." He stepped back and gestured invitingly. "Come in for a minute?"

He watched her stand there a minute more, frozen in indecision, before hesitantly stepping into his office. And he wondered again just what she had been doing there in front of his office. Which in turn led to a resurgence of his questions about the other night. As he closed his office door, he firmly pushed those thoughts back to the back of his mind. Last night he'd gone round and round, trying to find a scenario that made sense. He'd finally given up in the wee hours, deciding to just take Jen's comments at face value. After all, she'd never given him a reason to doubt her before.

Jen took a seat, working her fingers nervously while he walked back around his desk. Harm watched her fidget, and for a moment was reminded of the way she'd acted the other night, right before she kissed him. He was distracted from those thoughts when she spoke into the silence.

"So what can I do for you, sir?"

"I was wondering if you'd heard about any updates on Corporal Andrews condition."

He wasn't asking her because of the other day. No, he was asking because he had no way of contacting Loren, and Webb wasn't answering his calls. So the only chance he had of getting any updates on the search, slim that it was, was if there were any updates on the Corporal's 'condition.' And while it was his experience that enlisted personnel heard scuttlebutt and such before their officers, Jen had always seemed to be better informed than the rest.

Jen stopped her fidgeting, a look of compassion in her eyes.

"Nobody told you, sir?" When Harm shook his head, she continued. "I'm so sorry, sir. They pulled his body out of the Potomac days ago."

Stunned, Harm dropped down into his chair. He stared ahead without really seeing anything.

"It's not your fault, sir. You couldn't have known..."

Jen's words break through his shock. Harm blinked a couple of times, finally focusing on her. He shook his head slightly.

"If I would have just left him with Webb..."

"You were trying to help him sir." But Jen saw her words weren't getting through to him. Maybe later, when it wasn't so fresh...

Not knowing how else she could help him, she reluctantly stood up. "If there's nothing else, sir, I do have work to get back to."

Harm nodded his permission and Jen braced to attention before slipping out of the office.

* * *

Harm spent most of the morning in his office, Jen's words running through his head. Even though he knew, logically, that what had happened hadn't been his fault, that he couldn't have known what was going to happen, it still took awhile to accept it. The scathing voice mail that he left for Webb, chewing him out for not telling him himself, helped a little.

Finally emerging from his office, he'd gone to the break room for a cup of coffee and found Bud rummaging through one of the cabinets looking for creamer.

"Well Bud, I guess you've got one less thing on your plate now."

Bud stopped his search and turned towards Harm. "How's that sir?"

"The Corporal Andrews Article 32."

"What about the Corporal Andrews Article 32? Did the convening authority change his mind about wanting a court martial and decide to accept nonjudicial punishment?"

"They didn't tell you either Bud?" Harm frowned. "Corporal Andrews is dead."

"Wow. I mean, I knew he was in critical condition after the accident, but nobody told me that he'd died of his injuries." Bud shrugged his  
shoulders. "I guess that's not surprising, though, since I was prosecuting him."

Bud paused a second. "Did it just happen, sir?"

Not sure what to say, Harm answered the only way he could. "I don't have all the details yet Bud."

Bud nodded. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry sir."

"Thanks Bud." Deciding against getting the coffee after all, Harm left the break room while Bud resumed his search for the creamer.

Later, Harm stopped by Mac's office. Knock on the door frame, he stuck his head in without waiting for a response.

"Hey, you got a minute?"

Mac looked up from a brief she was preparing. "Mm. One."

Harm stepped the rest of the way into her office. "Have you talked to Webb lately?"

Mac frowned and shook her head. "Not in a couple of days. He's been out of the country since...the day after your accident actually."

"Convenient." Harm muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Never mind." Harm turned to leave but Mac stopped him.

"Harm, Bud told me about Corporal Andrews. I'm sorry."

"Thanks Mac." Harm frowned. "Bud was the one who told you?"

"Who else would have told me?" There was a hint of a rebuke in her tone. "It wasn't my case."

"Yeah." Harm nodded absentmindedly as he walked out of her office, completely ignoring her tone. He continued talking, more to himself now. "How else would you have known?"

Across the bullpen he watched Jennifer laugh at something another of the enlisted staff said as they secured for the day. His eyes followed her as the two women passed through the double doors and headed towards the elevator. All of his questions came back, along with some new ones. And this time he did nothing to try to stop them. One question in particular stood out.  
_  
How did she know what had happened when nobody else even knew Andrews was dead?_ And this time she couldn't claim that it was all a misunderstanding. Not that he intended to confront her again, at least not right away. So instead of heading to his own office to secure for the day, Harm walked over to Bud's.

"Hey Bud."

"Hey sir, come on in."

Harm walked in and shut the door behind him. He saw Bud's eyebrows raise slightly but he stayed silent, waiting for Harm to speak.

"Bud, did Jen ever talk about her personal life any when you two were on the Seahawk?"

If Bud found the question strange he didn't show it. His brow furrowed slightly while he thought. Finally he shook his head.

"Not really sir." Bud smiled sheepishly. "Mainly we talked about my personal life. I think what little she did say was about stuff that had already come up that Christmas before our deployment."

Harm stifled a sigh. That would have been too easy. "Bud, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to dig up everything you can on Jen, on her past." There was something missing from the picture that was Jennifer Coates. Something she had kept from everyone. Hopefully her past was the key to finding it.

Bud hesitated before answering. "I don't know sir. Like you said earlier, my plate is pretty full right now. Not to mention it's slightly inappropriate."

"Please Bud. It's important."

Bud sighed and finally nodded his head. "Okay sir. I'll see what I can find. Sir, can I ask why?"

Harm shook his head, for some reason reluctant to share his questions with Bud. "All I know is I'll know it when I see it Bud. And Bud, try to keep this quiet. I don't want anyone else to find out about this."

1530 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Knock, knock. You busy Harm?"

Harm looked up in surprise at the familiar voice, the brief he had been studying forgotten. "Mattie! What are you...how did you get here?"

"Carol's mom dropped me off. Actually...she's still in the parking lot."

Harm's eyebrows rose at this. He waved her into the office as he stood and walked around his desk. "So what's so important that couldn't wait till I got home? And that you had to come in person instead of calling."

"Would it be okay if I spent the weekend at Carol's"

Harm frowned. "I don't know Mattie. Overnight is one thing, but the whole weekend..."

"Please Harm! We're going to be spending part of the time working on our science project so it's not like the whole weekend will be fun and games."

Harm sighed. "Carol's parents are okay with this?"

Mattie grinned, realizing he was going to say yes. "I wouldn't be here if they weren't."

"Okay." Harm hurried to continue when he saw Mattie starting to get excited. "Provided you listen to them the same as you would me."

"Thanks Harm!" Mattie said, throwing her arms around him.

"You're welcome Matts." Harm said, returning the hug. The truth was he was all for any opportunity Mattie had to act like the teenager she was instead of the young adult she'd been forced to be.  
_  
Knock Knock Knock__  
_  
Harm looked up and Mattie half-turned to see Lieutenant Roberts standing in the doorway.

"I'm sorry sir." Bud gestured back over his shoulder. "I can come back if I'm interrupting."

"It's okay." Mattie said before Harm could say anything. She turned back to face Harm before continuing. "I should probably get going anyway. I'm just gonna go say hi to Jen before I leave. Thanks again Harm."

She walked out of the office, smiling at Bud as she passed him. Harm waved Bud in.

"So what have you got for me Lieutenant?" Harm asked, seeing the file folder in Bud's hand.

"The results of that investigation you asked me to do. Sorry it took so long. It was actually harder than I thought it would be."

"How so?"

"Well, considering how much, ah, trouble she used to get into, you'd think that people would remember her. Instead, it's like everything only exists on paper. And trying to get exact details on anything..."

Harm frowned. _That's weird._ "So you didn't find anything?"

"There was one thing sir. When she was in the brig, before being reassigned to the Seahawk. She had a visitor. Actually, he was a frequent visitor. They faxed me over a picture taken from the security camera, just this morning sir."

Bud handed over the file folder he'd brought with him. Harm took it, frowning at the expression on Bud's face. He opened it and felt his jaw drop. Harm looked back up at Bud.

"Did you show this to anyone else Lieutenant?"

"No sir!"

"Good. Don't. That's an order Lieutenant."

"Yes sir!" Bud paused, then gestured at the folder. "Commander, what exactly does that mean?"

Harm looked back down at the picture, speaking more to himself that Bud. "I don't know, but I am _going_ to find out."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A/N: Okay, everyone. This is the chapter you've all been waiting for! Hope it doesn't disappoint.

2100 local time  
North of Union Station  
Washington DC

Jennifer unlocked her apartment, dropping her purse and cover on the floor next to the door. She'd taken advantage of the fact that Mattie wouldn't be home to head over to Langley after securing for the day at JAG. She'd spent a few hours going through surveillance reports then went down to the pistol range to get in some target practice. All in all it made for a long day.

Bending slightly, she reached down and slipped off one of her shoes, sighing in pleasure at releasing her foot from its prison. Before she can reach for the other one, the light across the room turned on. Jumping back slightly, Jen cursed under her breath before looking up to see Harmon Rabb once again waiting in her apartment.

Sighing again, this time in annoyance, Jen removed her other shoe and walked further into the apartment. "You really need to stop doing this sir."

Walking past him, she stepped into the kitchen, opened the door to the refrigerator, and started rummaging through it, looking for something to eat.

"Then explain this." He slapped something down on the counter next to her.

Jen turned her head to see what he was talking about, and froze, shocked. It was a picture of her, from when she had been in the brig, the grainy resolution indicating it had been pulled from the security feed. And despite the poor resolution, Clayton Webb was clearly visible sitting across the table from her. They couldn't have chosen a better moment to capture on freeze frame either. Clay had just reached out and taken her hand in his.

Jen turned towards Harm, trying to think of something to say. "Sir-"

Harm cut her off. "Forty-five days you were in the brig. And he visited you over twenty times! Explain that."

"Sir, I..." Jen trailed off, not sure what to say. Did she tell him the truth, or did she lie? There was no way she could dance around this one, not this time. _You're too valuable in your current assignment... _With Clay's words echoing in her head, the lie was on the tip of her tongue. Jen looked down, still hesitating. Despite his questions and his accusatory tone, Harm trusted her; he never would have come to her for an explanation like this if he didn't. This lie would destroy all that, even if he wasn't aware of it.  
_  
They could always get someone else to do my job._ The memory of Loren's softly spoken words drowned out Clay's voice in her head. Those words, and the memory of the rest of the conversation, brought everything into focus. And in that instant Jen made the decision she realized she should have made weeks ago. She looked up, meeting Harm's eyes determinedly.

"I'm CIA."

Harm felt his jaw drop. "What?"

Of all the scenarios he had come up with to explain that picture, that one had never occurred to him. He stumbled back into one of the chairs in the kitchen and sat down, hard.

He looked up at Jen, a dazed look on his face. "How?"

"I was recruited into the CIA when I was seventeen. After high school, they put me through various training programs. Then I got the assignment to go undercover in the Navy." Jen paused. "The Powers That Be were concerned about the possibility of terrorist groups co-opting disenchanted enlisted personnel. With some slight embellishment to my background, they thought I would make a tempting prospect for the terrorists. Or at least be able to associate with those they had gotten to without arousing any suspicion."  
_  
So that's why Bud couldn't find anyone who knew anything about her._ "So all your bad conduct issues..."

"Just part of maintaining my cover." Jen bit her lower lip as she watched him nodding to himself. He seemed to be taking it pretty well. Better than she thought he would.

Harm was silent, digesting what she'd just told him. After a couple of minutes he looked back up at her. "If that was your assignment, how did you end up here?"

Jen smiled ruefully. "Well, you can thank your brother for that."

"Sergei?"

Jen nodded. "Clay never had any doubts about him being your brother. But some others at the Agency didn't exactly share his opinion. They thought it was a little too...convenient...that a member of the Russian military was the long-lost brother of a senior Naval officer. They wanted a contingency plan in place before they would agree to support Clay's idea of a trade..."

_Jen took a seat at the conference table. Glancing briefly at the blond haired woman seated to her left, Jen focused her attention on Clay, who was standing across the table from them.__  
__  
"So what's going on Clay?"__  
__  
"How's your Russian?"__  
__  
Jen frowned. "Rusty. Why?"__  
__  
Clay didn't answer right away. Instead he gestured to the other woman in the room. "Have you two been formally introduced? Jen, this is Lieutenant Loren Singer. Unlike you, Loren is really in the Navy. Loren, Jen Coates. You two are going to be working together on this little op."__  
__  
Jen glanced back over at the woman next to her. She smiled slightly, nodding her head in greeting and Jen nodded back before focusing her attention back on Clay. Out of the corner of her eye, Jen saw Loren glance briefly at her watch.__  
__  
Clay pulled a picture out of one of the files in his hands and slid it across the table to Jen. "This is Sergei Zhukov. He's the half-brother of one Commander Harmon Rabb," he pulled another picture out and slid it towards her "one of the officers Loren works with. He's currently in a POW camp in Chechnya. I'm leaving in" Clay glanced at his watch "about three hours to go arrange for his release. Because of some...concerns held by others in the Agency, Loren here was been tasked with keeping an eye on him during his stay in the U.S."__  
__  
At his words Jen arched an eyebrow at him.__  
__  
"Making sure he's not a sleeper agent."__  
__  
Jen nodded slightly, satisfied with his elaboration.__  
__  
Loren spoke up now. "However, because of the holidays and the nature of my cover, we need someone to temporarily be his watchdog."__  
__  
"And that's where I come in." It wasn't a question.__  
__  
Clay nodded. "You're about to go UA Petty Officer Coates._ And _resist arrest when the MPs catch up with you. Loren assures me that with the current caseload as it is, her and Rabb will end up with your case. All you have to do is dangle the carrot in front of him and when he takes it, Loren will make sure to tie things up till after the New Year. Leaving you in his custody for well over a week."__  
__  
Jen looked at Clay somewhat suspiciously. "What kind of carrot?"__  
__  
"Your defective enlistment." Loren answered. "Part of your cover is that it was either the Navy or prison for you, right? Work that into the conversation and I can all but guarantee Commander Rabb will make that his defense strategy. Which I will have some objections to. And since restricted barracks will be closed for the holidays, he'll end up being responsible for you for the week when he can't find anywhere else to place you. Of course, you'll have to make sure he feels there is no where else he can leave you."__  
__  
Jen nodded. "Sounds easy enough." She paused as something else occurred to her. "Couldn't he just take me to the brig though?"__  
__  
"He could." Loren admitted. "But he won't."__  
__  
Loren glanced at her watch again. "If there isn't anything else Clay? I'm already late for our dinner reservations and now I have to explain to Dylan that our Christmas plans are canceled."__  
__  
Clay didn't say anything, just nodded his head towards the door.__  
__  
Loren smiled in gratitude. She stood up then turned towards Jen one last time. "I'll see you Tuesday Petty Officer."__  
__  
Then she was walking out of the room, pulling her cell phone out of her purse before she even reached the door.__  
__  
Jen also stood up and walked around the table to Clay. "If I end up spending the holidays in the brig..."__  
__  
"You won't." Clay assured her. "Trust me. I know Rabb. Though I'm sure there'll be a moment or two when he'll be tempted, he won't send you to the brig. Stop by Ops before you leave and let them know what you'll need for your 'alternate housing' options. Get creative."__  
__  
Jen nodded, a couple of ideas already coming to mind.__  
__  
Clay handed her the stack of files he had been holding. "A little light reading for you. There's one on Sergei and one on Rabb. There's also a file on Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. I figure he'll take you to Mac's when he can't find anywhere else for you to spend the night."__  
__  
Jen frowned slightly. The way Clay had said the Colonel's name...__  
__  
Clay pretended not to notice the look on her face. Instead he kept talking, a smirk now on his face. "The last file is on Lieutenant Singer. So you won't be completely thrown when you meet Loren's alter ego.__  
__  
Jen looked at him questioningly but he didn't elaborate.__  
__  
"So, do you have anywhere to stay tonight?"__  
__  
Jen shook her head, already skimming through one of the files. "I'll probably just crash in one of the empty offices."__  
__  
Clay reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys, tossing them to her. Jen caught them without looking up. She glanced at them, then at Clay.__  
__  
"Go ahead and stay at my place. It's not like I'll be there anyway. Just don't lead the MPs back there." Clay glanced at his watch. "I've got to go. Don't stress this assignment. This had more to do with Agency politics than anything else. You'll see. Sergei is who he says he is."__  
__  
He started for the door, then stopped and turned back. "Oh, one more thing. I want you to use this assignment as an opportunity to 'see the light'."__  
__  
At Jen's confused look he explained. "There's a new assignment coming up and I want you to get it when this is finished. I'll give you the details later, but for it to work out Petty Officer Coates needs an attitude adjustment. So find a way."__  
__  
Jen nodded. She watched Clay start to head towards the door again. She called after him. "Hey Clay, tell your mother I said Merry Christmas."__  
__  
Clay didn't answer, just waved his hand slightly in acknowledgment. And with a grin Jen turned back to the files in her hands._

"The new assignment Clay had mentioned was to the Seahawk. With the possibility of captured terrorists being held on board, even temporarily, the Agency wanted an asset on board that the Navy didn't realize was CIA. To make sure we got all the information we needed, among other things. That was why Clay was visiting me in the brig, well that and because it was his fault I was there in the first place and he felt guilty. To give me the details of my new assignment."

Harm shook his head, letting everything sink in. At some point during her narrative (he couldn't recall exactly when) they had moved out of the kitchen and settled on the couch. he stood up now, taking a couple of steps away from her.

"So that was why you spent so much time with Sergei that week. And here I thought it was because you were uncomfortable spending that much time around an officer."

Jen watched him, working her fingers anxiously in her lap, still waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Yeah. It only took me about two minutes to reach the same conclusion Clay had, but I still had my assignment."

Harm nodded, accepting her words. He turned back around to face her. "But none of that explains what you're doing at JAG."

He sat back down next to her, reflexively taking one of her hands in his to try to calm her nervous movements. At the contact it felt like a bolt of electricity went through his body and he heard a little voice in the back of his head telling him that since she was CIA the frat regs didn't apply to them anymore. Harm tried to ignore that voice, instead trying to focus on what Jen was saying now.

"Well the Seahawk isn't deployed in a war zone anymore. There was no need for me to stay on board after we got back to Norfolk. And The Powers That Be missed having an agent at JAG HQ."

"So you're spying on us." Harm said, his tone going a little cold. Without realizing it, he pulled his hand back, away from Jen's.

"No!" Jen started to reach for his hand then stopped, returning her hand to its place in her lap. She hurried to continue, trying to reassure him. "It's...more about the cases. About making sure the CIA gets a hold of any information that turns up during cases about Naval personnel involved in any kind of spying or espionage."

"And you believed them when they told you that? That's got to be about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Yeah, cause the Navy would never deliberately keep the CIA out of the loop."

Her tone was somewhat sarcastic and Harm winced, knowing exactly which situation she referring to. But still, that was a one time thing and the man responsible for it had lost his job very soon afterward.

Jen continued speaking before he had a chance to respond, the sarcasm gone from her tone. "It isn't just about deliberate omissions Harm. Being in the position I'm in, having access to both sides' information like I do, I can put things together that people with access to only one side of it would miss. Like with Corporal Andrews."

Harm straightened up, backing away from her slightly. He should have made the connection earlier but it just hadn't occurred to him till Jen pointed it out just then. "You're the one who told Clay about him."

Jen nodded, knowing where he was going with this.

"Jen, he's dead now!"

"You think I don't know that? I lie awake at night wondering whether they would have still come after him no matter what or if it was just because we were questioning him."

Harm felt his anger slipping away at her genuine distress, his heart going out to her. "Jen..."

Jen continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"My goodness Harm, they almost killed you too..." Jen broke off, wiping at a couple of tears making their way down her face as she was once again gripped by the terror she'd felt when she'd gotten the call about the attack.

Harm stared at her a moment more. "It _was_ you. In my hospital room after the accident. My mystery visitor."

Jen could only nod, not trusting herself to speak just yet.

Harm fell silent as the little voice in the back of his head got louder. Then, without intending to he voiced the question seeking confirmation. "So you're not really in the Navy?"

Jen shook her head, blinking back her tears, grateful for the change of subject. A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "And I never was. My name just showed up on a duty roster one day. And before you ask, no I don't know how they did that. A really good hacker was always my guess, on the rare occasions I even thought about it at all."

"Fair enough." Harm fell silent for a minute. "How did you get involved with the CIA in the first place? You said you were seventeen when they recruited you?"

"Yeah. I, uh, wasn't the most law abiding teenager back then. That's what I meant when I said they embellished my background slightly. The stuff with the judge wasn't true but the petty theft, the con jobs, all that was.

"I had this boyfriend, Vince. He was a couple of years older than me and he would get me to work cons for him sometimes, when he couldn't. Well one day there was this mark he had picked out, this rich guy... Except when I approached him, he wouldn't bite. I found out later that because of his CIA training he was able to see right through me. When I came back empty-handed, Vince wasn't happy. He wasn't happy at all..."

_Jen tried to twist out of his grasp but Vince just tightened his grip on her arm. "Ow, Vince, you're hurting me."__  
__  
"Not yet Jenny, but I will."__  
__  
He raised his other hand to strike her and Jen flinched, closing her eyes and bracing herself for the blow. It never came. She cautiously opened her eyes to find the man from earlier had a hold of Vince's arm.__  
__  
"I despise men who hit women."__  
__  
"Get off me man, this ain't any of your business."__  
__  
"Oh you're wrong there." He applied a little pressure to Vince's wrist, causing him to let go of Jen with his other hand. "If I ever see you go anywhere near her again, I'm going to do a whole lot worse than this."__  
__  
Vince could only nod. The man let go of him and Vince fled, not looking back. The man turned his attention to Jen.__  
__  
"Are you okay?"__  
__  
Jen nodded, rubbing the spot on her upper arm where Vince had had a hold of her. She would probably have a bruise there tomorrow.__  
__  
Satisfied that she was telling him the truth, the man pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it to her. "Be there at 3:00 tomorrow. I've got a proposition for you."__  
_  
"It was Webb, wasn't it?"

Jen nodded. "He saw something in me that I didn't even see in myself at the time. And he gave me a chance to turn my life around."

Harm noted the look on her face when she said that. He felt something squeeze his heart, finally silencing the voice in the back of his head.

"Clay really did a lot for you." He paused and stood up, turning away from her again, not wanting to look at her when she confirmed what he was going to say next. "I can see why you'd love him."

Harm's words snapped Jen out of her contemplation of the past. She stood up also, reaching out to him. Using her grip on his arm she turned him around to face her, her eyes searching his face.

"Harm, Clay's like a brother to me." She reached up to caress his cheek. "The only man I'm in love with...is you."

Harm's eyes snapped down to meet hers. He saw the truth of her words shining in her eyes. He felt a smile start to tug at the edges of his mouth. He reached out to cup her face with his hands, his thumbs gently rubbing her cheekbones. Slowly, he lowered his face to hers, capturing her lips in a kiss.

While it started out tender, the kiss quickly grew passionate. Harm's hands left Jen's face and wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Jen, for her part, wrapped her arms around his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair. When they finally broke apart, they were both gasping for air.

Jen rested her head on Harm's chest, listening to his accelerated heartbeat. She could feel her own heart racing just as fast. She started playing with one of the buttons on his shirt.

"Mattie's staying with a friend." She reminded him. "We have the apartment to ourselves tonight."

"Are you sure?"

Jen's answer was to press her lips to his in another toe curling kiss. Harm groaned. Without breaking off the kiss he started backing her up towards the door to the bedroom.

* * *

Later, spooning between the sheets in Jen's small bed, their legs tangled together, Harm had his arms wrapped around Jen's waist. One of Jen's hands rested on top of Harm's while with the other she traced her way up his forearm, assuring herself that she wasn't dreaming. That she really was lying in the arms of the man she loved after having just made love with him. Jen sighed in pleasure, for the first time in a long time not being pulled by conflicting desires.

Jen turned her head slightly and pressed a kiss to Harm's bicep while she slowly ran her foot along the inside of his leg. She grinned against his arm.

"Your feet must be hanging off the edge."

"I'll survive." Harm said, nuzzling the back of her neck, pressing light, teasing kisses there.

Jen squirmed against him, causing Harm to tighten his grip around her waist. He started kissing his way down the line of her neck and down her back till he got to her tattoo. He lingered there and after a minute loosened his grip on her so he could use one hand to trace the outline of the tattoo. It was exactly as Jen had described to him.

"You have no idea how badly I've wanted to do this. Every time we went running, seeing that little hint of it, it was like it was taunting me." Harm paused as something suddenly occurred to him. His finger paused on her skin. "Was the story you told me true? About this, about how and why you got it?"

Jen twisted around so she could face Harm. Her brow furrowed as her eyes searched his face.

"Of course. Why would I lie to you about that? Why would you even think that?"

"I guess its finally sunk it that you're an undercover CIA agent. Earlier I was thinking more about how the frat regs don't apply anymore, or never did, but now... Do I even know you? Is everything you've ever told me just part of your cover story? Was any of it real?"

"Yes it's real! And the things I told you about myself, they're true!" Jen could tell by the look on his face that he still wasn't completely convinced. She felt fear start to claw at her heart. This was the fallout she had feared earlier. She continued speaking, panic causing her words to come out in a rush as she tried to convince him. "Yes I exaggerated my criminal past, no the man you met wasn't really my father although he did a really good job of acting like him, but everything else, it was me. I never pretended to be someone else and I did everything I could to not outright lie to you."

Jen reached out, cupping his face in her hands. "You know me Harm, you do!"

Harm pressed his hand on top of one of hers. "Okay. Okay, Jen, I believe you."

Was there still some doubt in his voice? Jen couldn't tell for sure. After staring into his eyes for another moment or two she reluctantly rolled back over onto her other side. Harm wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her back against him.

In moments his breathing had slowed. It took Jen a lot longer to fall asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reading this. And an especially big thank you to those of you who have posted comments!

0930 local time  
North of Union Station  
Washington DC

Jen rolled over in bed, coming completely awake when she realized she was _able_ to roll over. Panicking, she opened her eyes, looking around for Harm. The smell of fresh brewed coffee drifting into the room told her where he was. Seeing his shirt lying on the floor next to the bed where it had fallen the night before, she grabbed it so she could go out and join him.

She paused in the doorway, leaning against the door frame, taking in the scene. Harm, wearing just his jeans, was over by the stove. He turned from whatever he was working on to reach for his coffee cup.

"I could get used to this."

Harm turned at the sound of her voice. His eyes met hers, then slowly traveled down her body. Because of the difference in their heights, his shirt came down to her mid-thigh. It still left him with an excellent view of her legs though. He worked his way back up, this time noticing she had left the top two buttons undone, just enough to tease him about what lay underneath. He grinned at her.

"Me too." Setting his coffee down, he walked over to her and pulled her into a kiss.

"Do you prefer your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?" He asked when they finally broke apart.

"Scrambled's fine." Jen answered, her hand resting on his chest, above his heart. After a minute of just staring into each other's eyes, she walked over to pour herself a cup of coffee.

Harm went back to work in front of the stove. He glanced over at her as he cooked, one eyebrow arched. "I had wanted to make us a couple of omelets, but there's a decided lack of fresh vegetables in the apartment."

Jen eyed him over her coffee cup, an innocent look on her face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Right."

Harm turned back to the eggs and Jen just watched him, sipping at her coffee. Inside she was relieved. It seemed the tension of the previous night really was behind them.

When the eggs were done, Harm reached up and pulled a couple of plates out of one of the cupboards. He divided the contents of the skillet equally, then brought both plates over to the table. The ate in silence for a while, just enjoying doing this routine daily activity together.

Finally Harm spoke up. "So, when do you want to tell Mattie?"

"Tell Mattie what?" Jen asked, glancing over at Harm as she took another bite.

"About us...about you."

Jen almost dropped her fork. Setting it down next to her plate, she looked at Harm like he had grown a second head. "We can't tell Mattie. We can't tell anybody."

Harm also set his fork down. He pushed his plate away slightly and focused on Jen. "I get that we can't tell our friends, everyone at JAG. This relationship is going to be hard enough to work out because of that. Not telling Mattie will make it nearly impossible."

Jen felt a thrill go through her to hear Harm say that they were, indeed, in a relationship. She pushed it aside, though, unwilling to be distracted from the subject at hand. "Do you have any idea how many rules I broke just telling you?"

"So you think Mattie can't be trusted to keep your confidence?" Harm asked, frowning.

"No. It's not that. It's..." Jen sighed. She closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath. Finally she opened her eyes again. "I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight either."

"Then can we just...table this for right now?"

Although clearly unhappy with the idea, Harm finally nodded his head, agreeing. They go back to eating, the silence this time not a comfortable one but rather tense.

When Jen stood up to take her empty plate over to the sink, Harm stopped her, grabbing her hand and pulling her down into his lap.

"I really _don't_ want to fight with you."

Jen didn't say anything, just relaxed into him, nuzzling her head into his neck.

"How does dinner out tonight sound?"

"Sounds great." A second later. "Wait, I can't tonight. I'm having dinner with some friends."

Harm grinned. "Is that code for something?"

Jen straightened up, giggling. She smacked him lightly on the arm. "No! Sometimes dinner with friends is just that - dinner with friends."

"Is it with one of your JAG friends?"

Jen shook her head.

"Then let me come with you."

"You can't, I'm having dinner with Loren and Dylan."

"Dylan?" Harm asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Mm-hmm." Jen nodded, idly running her finger along the shell of his ear. "Loren's husband."

Harm blinked in surprise. "Wow. Didn't see that one coming."

Jen smacked him again, a little harder this time. "She's not like you remember her Harm. She never was. Her Lieutenant Singer personality was just part of her cover. Blindly ambitious so she could stick her nose in other people's cases without them getting suspicious. Annoyed yes, but not suspicious. And an ice queen persona so nobody would think twice about why she never socialized with co-workers and spent so much time alone. Both necessary for her to do her CIA work."

Harm nodded, some of the pieces finally fitting into place. But there was still one big one that was missing. "So what's her story?"

"What?"

"I know she's CIA, I'm not asking about that." Harm paused, trying to find the best way to phrase his next question then shrugged deciding there was no good way. "How is she still alive? They found her body."

"They found _a_ body Harm." Jen said, a look of sadness in her eyes. She stood up and turned away from Harm, her arms wrapped around herself. "Loren wasn't the one who met with Lindsey that night. In fact, she wasn't anywhere near that spot that night. She was in the hospital, terrified she was having a miscarriage. I know, I was there with her."

Harm stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her. He rested his chin on her shoulder and Jen leaned back into him, accepting his comfort. After a couple of minutes Jen turned around to face Harm so she could finish the story.

"Loren and Dylan's relationship had been getting kind of rocky the last couple of years before this happened. Because of her cover personality, he really couldn't be a part of her Navy life. And since she was basically working two jobs, there wasn't a whole lot of time left over that he _could_ be a part of. Loren didn't like it, but accepted it as part of the job. Dylan wasn't nearly as accepting.

"Then she got her orders to the Seahawk." Jen sighed. "It probably didn't help that she waited till the last minute to tell Dylan. That was the final straw for him. He told her he didn't think he could do it anymore; that they should take a break and reevaluate things between them.

"That was the night before she ran into Sergei at her JAG sendoff." Jen saw Harm start to say something but shook her head before he could speak. "She never slept with Sergei Harm. In fact, the way I understand it, she spent the entire evening crying on his shoulder about Dylan."

"Well that explains why Sergei was so sure there was another guy. And why he believed her without question when she told him the baby wasn't his. She could have just said they never slept together."

"And you would have believed her?" Jen asked, arching an eyebrow at him. A second later Harm shook his head. "Besides, she couldn't risk blowing her cover. At that point she still wasn't sure yet what she was going to do.

"Even though we had worked together the Christmas before, it was while she was on the Seahawk that we became friends. We could be ourselves with each other in a way that we couldn't be with the rest of the crew. We could talk honestly. Something she really needed once she realized she was pregnant. She didn't know what to do - about the baby, about Dylan, about anything."

"Okay, but what does all this have to do-"

"I'm getting there. But you had to understand the context first. Understand how much stress she was under then. CIA work can be stressful enough. Add to that the stress of trying to decide what she was going to do about her relationship with Dylan... That meeting with you ended up being just too much.

"She was supposed to meet Lindsey that night. Not because they were sleeping together, although he thought they had." At Harm's confused look Jen shrugged. "Sometimes alcohol can be a spy's best friend. He was just an assignment. Turned out Lindsey took being passed over for promotion again a little harder than anyone realized. We think that was when he got involved with passing along privileged information. He actually contributed to that whole 'nuclear cruise missile' incident. That was actually what alerted us to him in the first place. Loren started 'seeing' him then under the guise of trying to further her career in order to find out who he was in contact with and what exactly he was passing along.

"When Loren started having abdominal pains, she asked another agent to take her place at the meet. They had a little bit of a resemblance and where about the same height and build. In the dark, in Loren's uniform, they both figured Lindsey wouldn't notice the difference.

"And then she called me because she hadn't told Dylan about the baby yet, and didn't want to till she had decided what she was going to do."

"Wait," Harm said, holding up his hand to stop Jen from continuing. "Loren almost had a miscarriage and it was because I was pushing her too hard that night?"

There was a pained look on his face and Jen reached out to him. "You couldn't have known Harm. And Loren doesn't blame you. She didn't miscarry. Abby's a beautiful, happy, _healthy_ little girl with two parents who adore her. You probably saved Loren's life. If she had gone to meet Lindsey, it probably would have been her that ended up in the river. And the whole thing helped her realize she wanted Dylan and a family more than she wanted to be a field agent. They got married about a month after Abby was born."

"And the other agent?"

The sad look was back on Jen's face. "Unfortunately nobody realized she was missing right away. She was starting her own maternity leave and was supposed to be leaving the country to visit family while she could still travel. In her rush to get to the hospital after calling this other agent, Loren hadn't let anyone know about the switch and nobody else knew the location of the meeting.

"The hospital kept Loren three days for observation, three days that everyone thought _Loren_ was the one missing. When she finally called to check in and everything got straightened out, it was too late. We couldn't locate the other agent. Nobody had heard from her and she hadn't made her flight. I went out to the bridge myself. The blood was still on the pavement... The river had iced over, though, so there wasn't anything else we could do at that point. And since Loren had decided to leave her JAG assignment, the decision was made that when the body turned up, it would be identified as Lieutenant Singer's. That way her CIA status woudn't be compromised."

"That's cold."

"That's the CIA Harm. It wasn't Loren's decision though, and it certainly wasn't how she wanted to handle it." Jen was silent for a moment. "She still blames herself for what happened to that woman and her baby."

_

* * *

_

Knock Knock Knock

"Hey Jen. Come on in."

Dylan stepped back and swung the door open further so Jen could walk through the doorway. After Dylan closed the door, Jen stood on tip-toe to press a kiss to his check, which he reciprocated.

"Wow Jen," Dylan said once they had stepped back. "It seems like its been forever since you've been over. I guess that new living situation of yours doesn't let you have too much time for friends, huh?"

Jen just shrugged. She held out to Dylan the objects in her hands. "Loren wouldn't say what we were having so I brought red and white."

"Great." Dylan said, taking the wine bottles out of her hands. He waved for Jen to follow him into the kitchen. "Loren's still getting cleaned up. She just got home from work a couple of minutes ago."

Jen nodded, having heard the sound of the water running as soon as she stepped into the apartment.

"You know, the one thing I really miss from her Navy days are those five minute showers she used to take. Isn't that right sweetheart?" He finished in a sing-song voice directed at the infant sitting in the highchair next to the table. "Mommy likes to take extra long showers now, doesn't she?"

Abby giggled and clapped her hands, reacting more to her father's tone of voice than to his words. Seeing Jen was there, she broke into a huge grin and held her hands out, wanting Jen to pick her up. Jen smiled back at her goddaughter but made no move to remove her from the highchair. Realizing she wasn't going to get what she wanted, Abby lowered her hands and went back to smearing green glops of food around her tray. As Dylan settled himself back onto the chair in front of her, Abby held out a handful of the goop to Jen.

"Oh no thank you sweetheart. You eat it." Jen said, smiling. Instead, with a smile of her own, Abby rotated her hand and opened it, letting the stuff fall to the floor with a plop.

Dylan groaned and bent over to wipe it up, allowing Abby to fling some into his hair.

"Abby!" He cried.

"So," Jen said, "any change on the horizontal movement front?"

Dylan looked up at her, seeing the grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Go ahead. Laugh. You and Loren both. But we'll see who has the last laugh."

He turned back to Abby, speaking in that sing-song voice again. "Won't we Princess? Yes we will."

Picking up the jar of baby food sitting on the table next to him, he scooped up a spoonful and held it out to Abby. He managed to get the spoon in her mouth and, for a minute, it looked like she would eat it. Then with a grin, she blew a raspberry. Clapping her hands again, Abby giggled at the sight of her father covered in peas. Jen covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Just a guess," Jen said as Dylan got up and got a dish towel to clean himself up with, "but I don't think she likes the peas."

"I don't get it." Dylan said, shaking his head. "She never gives Loren any problems when _she_ feeds her this stuff."

"Can I try?"

"Be my guest." Dylan said, moving over to the stove to stir the contents of one of the pans.

Jen sat down and scooped up a bite of the peas. Moving the spoon around like it was an airplane, she managed to get it into her mouth. Jen braced herself for it to come back out but instead Abby swallowed and looked towards her expectantly, wanting more.

Dylan saw that and just shook his head, muttering under his breath about a female conspiracy.

"So," Jen said, as she cautiously feed Abby another bite, "how's work going?"

"It's going really good. We just got a new account so I've been a little busy working on the plans." He paused. "Peter's been asking about you."

Jen tried not to sigh. It wasn't that Peter was a bad guy. Dylan's college roommate and fellow architect at the DC firm he worked at, Peter was also Abby's godfather. Jen had first met him at Abby's christening and had seen him a handful of times since then. He'd made it clear from the start that he like her, although he wasn't obnoxious about it. Unfortunately for him the attraction only went one way.

"That's...sweet, Dylan, but-"

"But you're still hung up on that Commander guy."

Jen nodded her head. Although now it was a little more than being 'hung up' on him. A few minutes go by in silence. "Dylan, can I ask you a personal question?"

Sensing the seriousness, Dylan merely nodded.

"Would you guys still be here, together like this, if Loren hadn't made the decision to give up JAG?"

Dylan sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He was silent for a minute. "I'd like to be able to say yes, that we'd still be here, that we'd still be a family. You know I love her, and it's certainly what Abby deserves. But honestly, I'm not sure. I know how that sounds and I'm not proud of it, but it's just the way that it is. It's hard to have a life with someone when you're not allowed to be a part of such a big part of it."

Jen nodded, processing what he'd said. Before either of them could say anything else, Loren walked into the kitchen, her hair still slightly damp. Seeing Jen sitting in front of Abby, she grinned.

"Did Dylan talk you into that?" She looked over at Dylan and shook her head but the grin was still on her face. "Next he'll have you changing diapers for him."

Dylan rolled his eyes in mock annoyance and walked over to Loren, his arms wide open. Loren backed up a step or two, seeing the food still splattered on his shirt.

"Oh no, mister. I just got cleaned up."

Dylan ignored her, a grin on his face, as he pulled her into a kiss. And despite her words, Loren didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around her husband. Jen watch them for a second, smiling at their happiness. She turned her attention back to Abby, scooping the last bite of peas out of the jar and feeding it to her.

Loren walked over then with a wet washcloth and started wiping Abby off. "Sorry I'm running late. I was just getting ready to leave work when I got a new batch of emails that-"

"Hey, hey, hey." Dylan said, cutting Loren off. He placed a finger over her lips. "No shop talk tonight. I mean it. For the rest of the evening, this is a CIA free zone."

* * *

Jen put her car in park and turned off the engine. Instead of getting out and going inside, though, she sat there.  
_  
It's hard to have a life with someone when you're not allowed to be a part of such a big part of it._ Dylan's words from earlier kept rolling through her head. Granted, her and Harm's situation wasn't exactly like Loren and Dylan's had been. But his words still struck a cord with her.

She and Harm might never have the kind of family Loren and Dylan had. But that was okay. Because they already had their own kind of family right now. And in realizing that, Jen also realized she would do whatever she had to do to preserve it. Including telling Mattie the whole truth about her. And if Clay didn't like it when he found out what she'd done (and he would, sooner or later), then too bad. She'd cross that bridge when they got there.

The decision made, Jen finally stepped out of her car.

* * *

In his apartment, Harm paced around, mentally smacking himself in the head for his earlier words to Jen. She was right. He didn't know the full circumstances of her job situation so he'd had no right to continue pressuring her to talk to Mattie after she'd said that she couldn't. And while his words had sprung from the desire to give their budding relationship every possible chance, he could see now that his pressuring her was the same as if someone were to pressure him about his flight status.

A knock on the door stopped him from further self-criticism. Walking over to the door he opened it to find Jen standing outside.

"Hey."

"Hey." After a minute. "Can I come in?"

"Oh, right." Realizing he had been standing there staring at her, Harm stepped back and gestured for her to come inside.

Jen took a couple of steps into the apartment while Harm closed the door. She turned around, starting to speak at the same time he did.

"You were right."

"I'm sorry."

They both grinned sheepishly at the other.

"You go first." Harm said.

"No you." Jen insisted. "What do you have to be sorry about?"

"I'm sorry for pressuring you earlier. It's your job and you have the most to lose here. If you're not ready to tell Mattie, then we'll figure something out. We'll find some other way to make this work. What?" He asked, seeing Jen start to shake her head at him.

"No, you were right earlier. And I'm sorry I couldn't see that. I love you Harm. This. Us." She gestured between them. "I've wanted this for so long. Dreamed about it. And I'll do whatever it takes."

Harm stepped closer to Jen, wrapping his arms around her waist. She wrapped hers around his neck. "Are you sure?"

Jen nodded. "Absolutely. We'll tell Mattie when she gets home tomorrow."

Then Jen grinned up at him. "Now, shut up and kiss me."

Harm grinned back at her before lowering his head, pressing his lips to hers.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A/N: Alright ladies and gentlemen, we're coming up on the end of this story. Only two more chapters left after this one.  
A/N 2: Thanks for all your awesome comments!

1920 local time  
Union Station Mall  
Washington DC

"You have excellent taste sir. Would you like to see it up close?"

"Uh, no, I..." Harm stuttered, caught off guard at having been spotted looking around in the jewelry store.

But the sales clerk was already taking the ring out of the display case.

"It's a princess cut stone, perfect for this particular setting. The diamond is a carat and a half and the sapphires surrounding it come to a half carat, bringing the total for the ring to two carats."

The man started talking about the clarity of the stone and Harm tuned him out, trying to find a way to get out of the store quietly. It wasn't like he'd come in here to expressly purchase an engagement ring. He and Jen had only just started their relationship. Too soon to be thinking about marriage, or so he told himself anyway.

Mattie had taken the news of that relationship really well, declaring after they told her that 'it was about time.' Apparently she had noticed the looks they gave each other, when the other wasn't looking, and put two and two together.

What she hadn't seen coming was the revelation of Jen's real identity. But that too she thought was really cool and spent the rest of the evening peppering Jen with questions about what kind of spy stuff she had done and all the cool places she'd been and if she had any really cool toys like the spies on tv. Jen had laughed and done her best to answer all her questions.

When he'd picked her up from school today, Mattie had asked if she could go to the mall with one of her friends after dinner. And since Jen was at her 'other' job tonight, Harm had decided to tag along, much to Mattie's embarrassment. After they'd separated, Harm had wandered around for a little while until he somehow found himself in here, standing in the section devoted to engagement rings.

The sales clerk paused to take a breath and Harm saw his chance. Muttering something about needing to get a second opinion, he all but fled the store. Deciding that coming to the mall hadn't been a good idea after all and that it might be safer to wait for Mattie and her friend in the food court, Harm headed in that direction.

1945 local time  
Koburn Street  
Alexandria Virginia

Jen strolled casually up to the utility vehicle, rapping her knuckles on the side as she came up next to it. A side door opened and she quickly stepped inside, closing the door behind her. Loren turned away from the monitor she was watching long enough to smile in greeting. Jen sat down next to her, accepting the still steaming to-go cup of coffee her friend offered her.

"Get anything yet?" Jen asked as she slipped on a pair of headphones, identical to the pair Loren was already wearing.

Loren stared at her for a moment, and Jen realized with a start she wearing one of Harm's jackets. She had grabbed it without thinking when she left the apartment earlier. Jen held her breath, waiting for her friend to say something. But she didn't and after a minute the moment passed.

Loren turned back around, shaking her head in response to Jen's question as she turned a couple of nobs on the console in front of her, trying to clean up the audio they were getting.

They'd finally managed to track down the pickup used in the attack on Harm and Corporal Andrews. The registered owner was the cousin of the man Loren had killed. The CIA had bugged his phone and placed surveillance outside his apartment building, but so far they were coming up empty.

Loren sighed and slipped the headphones off when she heard him start to order a pizza. Jen followed suit.

"We need to get something soon, though, before Carl electrocutes himself up there." Loren told Jen, only half joking.

"Hey, I heard that." The voice came, not from their headphones, but from the vehicle's speaker system.

"You were supposed to."

"Sheesh. Blow one tiny transformer and they never let you forget it." The voice from the speakers muttered.

Jen glanced up, as if she could see through the roof of the vehicle to the CIA agent suspended above them, pretending to be working on the wires.

"Did he really..."

Loren nodded.

"And he's still up there?"

Loren nodded again, clearly not thrilled with the idea. She deliberately changed the subject. "So how's everything going? I don't think we've really had a chance to talk since dinner last week."

"Things...are good." Jen said but didn't elaborate.

Realizing there was more going on than her friend was saying, Loren looked at her expectantly. But Jen wouldn't meet her eyes, instead feigning a sudden interest in the wording on her coffee cup.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jen saw movement on one of the monitors. Glancing up, she saw a car approaching the building and slipped her headphones back on. Loren glanced over to see what Jen was looking at, then waved dismissively.

"It's just the pizza guy. He's been here all week too."

Jen frowned. "A little extreme, don't you think?"

Loren shrugged. "He's a bachelor with no steady girlfriend. Some guys will do anything to not have to cook."

Jen turned back to the monitor as the guy walked out of the building to meet the pizza guy. (And wasn't _that_ unusual.) She flicked a switch on the console, switching the channel leading into her headphones to outside audio. Unable to make out what the two men were saying, she tried turning up the gain, without success.

Jen leaned closer to the monitor, another frown on her face. Something about the way the guy kept glancing over at the utility van as he paid the pizza guy...

"Shit!" Jen cried, pulling off her headphones. "We've been made!"

An instant later their suspect took off running down the street.

Jen was out of her seat and halfway out of the vehicle before Loren even realized she'd moved. Loren stuck her head out the door, calling after Jen to wait, but Jen ignored her as she chased after the fleeing man.

0130 local time  
North of Union Station  
Washington DC

As quietly as she could, Jen unlocked the door to her apartment and stepped inside, favoring her right foot. A light was on across the room even though Harm was dozing on the couch. At the sound of the door closing he stirred.

"Sorry." Jen said. "You didn't have to wait up for me."

"Mm." Harm rubbed at his face. "I wanted to."

He watched her walk over to him, frowning slightly. "Are you limping?"

"It's nothing. I just landed funny." Which was true enough. After chasing that guy for two blocks she'd finally caught up to him, tackling him to get him to stop running.

Harm pulled her down onto the couch then twisted her around so her legs were across his lap. He started to massage her sprained ankle.

"Can you tell me about it?"

Jen shook her head. "I can't. I'm sorry."

Harm nodded his acceptance and continued rubbing her abused muscles.

"Do you remember doing this for me up on the roof? Right after I'd gotten my cast off."

Harm grinned. "You hadn't listened to me. Pushed yourself too hard, too quick."

He frowned as something occurred to him. "That happened on a mission, didn't it."

When Jen wouldn't look him in the eye that was all the confirmation he needed.

"Just how often does this happen Jen? Maybe you should think about cutting back on these little field trips. Or cutting them out altogether."

Jen sighed. "Yes, things happen sometimes. Injury, or worse, is a risk we accept when we go out there. But Harm, I'm a fully trained field agent of the CIA. I know three different forms of martial arts, and I'm probably a better shot than you are." Harm looked like he wanted to argue that last point but she hurried on before he could say anything. "My point is that I can take care of myself."

Now it was Harm's turn to sigh. "I know. But I love you and I want you to be safe."

At his words, Jen felt tears come to her eyes. Blinking them back, she threw herself across the couch into Harm's arms, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. When they finally break apart, Harm blinked at her, surprised.

"I think I'll tell you to quit your job more often if this is the reaction I get." He joked. Jen smacked him playfully. "So what was that really for?"  
"You said you love me. That's the first time you've said that."

Harm brushed at a tear that had managed to make its way down her cheek. "Did you doubt it?"

Jen shook her head. "No. Your actions say it often enough. But it's nice to hear the actual words."

She captured his lips again in another kiss. Harm pulled her onto his lap as he deepened the kiss. His hands slipped underneath her shirt. Remembering Mattie asleep in the next room Jen breaks off the kiss before things can go any further. With a groan Jen shifted herself off of Harm's lap. When she was once again next to him on the couch, Harm wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his side. Jen laid her head on his shoulder, her arms going around his chest.

"We need to seriously rethink the living situation." Jen said as she snuggled into him.

Silently Harm agreed. For a moment his thoughts turned back to the engagement ring he'd been looking at earlier. But instead of saying anything, he kissed the top of her head. "There's always cuddling."

"Cuddling will work."

Harm took one of her hands in his, intertwining their fingers together. "So, you know Kung Fu?"

Jen looked up at him and saw the teasing glint in his eyes. She nodded her head. "Mm-hm."

"I might need to see a demonstration of that, just to be sure." A grin was tugging at the corners of his mouth now.

Jen schooled her features into a mock serious look before responding. "Really?"

Harm nodded, a mock serious look also on his face. "Mm-hm."

"I might be able to arrange that." She pressed a kiss to his lips before resting her head back on his shoulder.

They were silent for a few minutes, just staring at their joined hands.

"I love you Jen."

"I love you Harm."


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A/N: The opinions expressed by the freaky terrorist are his own. They do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the author so please don't take them as such. This isn't me on a soapbox. **It's for ****entertainment purposes only**. And please, no comments debating US foreign policy, past or present. It's not my intention to start a vicious debate on this.

0930 local time  
CIA Headquarters  
Langley, Virginia

"So has he said anything yet?"

Loren looked up from the report she was rereading. Jen was seated on the other side of her desk going through the transcripts of the Andrews sessions, jotting down the occasional note onto a legal pad. Off to the side and slightly behind them, the video of those sessions was playing.

Sensing her friend staring at her, Jen looked up from what she was doing. "Well? Has he?"

Loren picked up the tv remote off the corner of her desk and turned the volume down till it was just a murmur in the background.

"No." Loren sighed in frustration. "And I'm not so sure he will."

Jen stared at Loren in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"

"No. Unlike Corporal Andrews, he doesn't seem all that terrified to be in federal custody." She picked up another file off her desk and waved it towards Jen. "Probably because it isn't his first time. And unless we find something to definitively link him to Corporal Andrews' murder _or_ this terror cell, we'll have no choice but to release him in 48 hours."

"It was his truck that was used to kidnap Andrews!" Jen protested.

"He says he had loaned it to his cousin a week before that happened. And since both men wore masks, Harm won't be able to identify the other kidnapper."

"Okay." Jen paused, looking for another angle. "Alright, if he wasn't guilty of _something_, why'd he run?"

"Hey, I'm on your side, remember? You think I haven't been over all of this already? I want to catch these guys just as much as you do." Loren paused, waiting till Jen took a deep breath and nodded reluctantly. "He said he ran because you were chasing him."

Jen snorted in disbelief. She hadn't even gotten out of the vehicle till after he'd taken off. She refrained from saying so, though, as Loren continued speaking.

"He also said he was going to sue you for breaking his nose when you tackled him."

Jen stifled a laugh. She saw a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of Loren's lips, indicating her own amusement.

"Good thing I know a good lawyer." Then she grew serious again. "So where does that leave us?"

"It leaves us screwed." Loren said, all traces of humor gone now. "When we took him in we tipped our hand. Now they know we're on to them. And who knows what they're liable to do because of that."

"Shit." Jen said with feeling. She glanced at the files scattered over Loren's desk. "So that's why we're going through all the Andrews stuff again."

Loren nodded. "Clay's still convinced there's something here. All we have to do is find it."

"Why don't we just stick a tail on pizza guy when we cut him loose in two days?" After a second Jen answered her own question. "No, that wouldn't work. If he's smart enough to keep his mouth shut, he's smart enough to not go running to his friends after he gets out."

Frustrated, Jen looked away, her gaze resting on the TV off to the side. Noticing something she hadn't before, she frowned.

"What did he just say?"

Loren had gone back to reading her report. She looked up at Jen now, confused. "Huh?"

Jen pointed at the screen. "His lips just moved. He said something. But I've been through these transcripts a dozen times, at least. Whatever he just said isn't in there."

Loren turned back to her report with a sigh. "Then he probably wasn't saying anything. He was probably chewing on the inside of his lip or something."

But Jen shook her head. "No. The movements weren't right for that."

She snatched up the remote and rewound the video, turning the volume up as high as it would go before pressing play again. Ignoring the sudden pounding on the wall coming from whoever was in the office next to Loren's, Jen focused on the tape. What she heard made her blood run cold.

"Oh my...I know who it is...I know who we're looking for."

"Jen?" Loren looked up at her friend in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

But Jen ignored her and continued talking, almost to herself. "He's been right in front of us all along." Then she paled as another thought occurred to her. "All along. Oh no! I've got to get to JAG!"

"Jen!" Loren cried again as she watched her friend race out of her office without another word.

Jen made it down to her car in record time. Once inside the vehicle she paused a second to fish her gun out of her purse and pull the clip out, assuring herself that it was fully loaded. Clay had been right. Corporal Andrews _had_ known something, he just hadn't realized it.

He'd been in the middle of explaining to Loren how they had talked him into going along with their plan. His words, muttered under his breath while Loren had been jotting down a few notes, had apparently gone unnoticed until Jen had seen that moment of video without any sound. They were still ringing in her ears.  
_  
Aces my ass!__  
_  
In her world there was no such thing as coincidences. There was only one other person she'd ever heard use that particular word. More of the pieces started to come together in her mind. He had been there, excusing himself to go make a phone call moments after Harm had announced he was going to get Andrews from CIA custody. She'd thought nothing of it at the time... He'd been a frequent visitor to JAG in the weeks since then, interviewing the staff for his article. Like he was supposed to be doing today.

Satisfied with the state of her weapon, Jen slammed the clip back in and turned to start her car - just as Loren jerked open the passenger door and threw herself in. Jen stared at her friend in shock.

"What...are you...waiting for?" Loren asked, gasping for breath from her mad dash from her office. "Go!"

Jen needed no further encouragement. Once they had gotten past the security checkpoint, she pulled her cell phone out of her purse. With one eye on the road, she dialed Harm's cell number.

In the passenger seat, Loren braced herself against the dashboard as Jen accelerated and started weaving in and out of traffic. She flinched as Jen cut in front of an SUV only to move back into the other lane a second later.

"Why don't you let me call for back-up and you focus on driving. I'd really like to make it home to my husband and daughter tonight."

Jen ignored her, silently counting rings. She cursed under her breath when she got to five and Harm's voice mail picked up. He wasn't supposed to be in court at all today so he should have answered. Of all the days for him to forget his cell phone at home...

She kept telling herself that was all it was as she dialed the number to his office, praying he would pick up this time.

* * *

"It's time Commander."

Harm glanced up at the sound of the familiar voice. Dressed in his customary blue jeans and flannel shirt with a t-shirt promoting some West Coast comic book convention, Theodore Brande stood in the doorway of his office, a serious look on his face. After a minute of standing there like that with his arms crossed he broke out into a grin.

"It's time for your photo shoot. You've been putting it off long enough."

Harm grimaced. Jen had actually been his co-conspirator in avoiding this. But she wasn't here today, having taken a day of leave to take care of some CIA business related to the other night. Leaving him on his own to deal with Brande.

"Couldn't you just use a stock photo or something? I'm sure there's one around here somewhere we could dig up for you."

But Brande just shook his head. "None of your co-workers gave me any trouble with this, Commander. Come on, it'll be quick and painless. I promise."

Harm sighed and stood up. He was half way to the door when his phone began to ring. Harm turned around to answer it.

"Hey, if it's important, they'll leave a message. Or call back. And if it's not, well I just saved you from a twenty minute conversation with a telemarketer."

Harm took a deep breath, preparing to argue the point. Then he stopped. The sooner he got this over with, the sooner Brande would be out of his life for good. Despite his friendly personality, there was just something about the man that sent up red flags whenever Harm was around him.

So with an abrupt nod, Harm turned back towards the door as the phone continued to ring.

* * *

Jen set a new speed record getting to JAG. And getting through the checkpoint didn't take any time either. The Marine sentry paled at the sight of the supposedly dead Lieutenant Singer in the passenger seat and quickly waved them through. If she hadn't been preoccupied worrying about Harm, Jen would have found the whole thing pretty funny. As it was, she barely noted it.

The guards inside the building didn't give them any problems either, unnerved by the sight of Loren coming towards them. Considering they were entering a government building armed, without stopping to offer an explanation, it was probably for the best. All the same, Jen made a mental note to bring that up to somebody at a later date.

Without needing to discuss it, they bypassed the elevators and headed for the stairs.

"How do you want to play this?"

Jen looked at Loren as they sprinted up the last flight. Jen had filled her in on everything after she couldn't get a hold of Harm, so they were both on the same page now. At some point since they had entered the building, her friend had pulled out her own gun. She was checking it now, making sure the safety was off. Jen didn't need to check hers. She'd taken the safety off as soon as she stepped out of the car.

"We check the bullpen first." Jen told Loren. "If he's not there, we split up and search the rest of the floor."

Glancing up from her weapon, Loren nodded her acceptance of the plan.

Looking through the glass as they approached the double doors leading into the bullpen, Jen saw they wouldn't need to search the whole building. Brande was standing in the middle of the bullpen, most of the staff with him. Jen breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that Harm was one of them and that he appeared to be fine. Pausing before going through the doors, Jen turned back to Loren, frowning when she saw the look on the other woman's face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Loren said, glancing around one more time. "It's just a little...strange to be here again."

Loren shook her head, bringing herself back to the task at hand. She nodded for Jen to go ahead. "I'm right behind you."

Jen nodded and took a deep breath. She raised her gun, holding it steady in a two-handed grip. Using her foot, she pushed the glass door open and moved into the bullpen.

"It's over Brande." Jen said, approaching him cautiously but steadily, keeping her gun trained on him. At her words, everyone turned in her direction but she ignored them, focusing on Brande. "We know who you are. _What_ you are."

Brande had turned towards her along with everyone else. Now Jen watched his gaze go from her, to the gun in her hand, to Loren a few steps behind her and circling around in order to flank him, and finally back to her. His normal carefree expression was gone, replaced with a haughty sneer.

"Jen?" Harm asked, a confused look on his face. Despite his confusion, he took a couple of steps away from Brande, giving Jen a clear line of fire. "What are you-"

Without turning her head, Jen glanced over at Harm. "He's the one who ordered Corporal Andrews killed, Harm."

Jen's eyes moved back to Brande. "It was because he could identify you, wasn't it?"

At Jen's words, Harm glanced back at Brande in shock, shock that quickly turned into anger. He clenched his fists till his knuckles turned white, barely holding himself back from decking the guy.

"An unfortunate mistake on my part." Brande said with disdain, ignoring the enraged Naval officer standing just a couple of feet away from him. "Meeting with him personally that is. Something to keep in mind for the next time."

"There won't _be_ a next time Brande. You're under arrest." Loren spoke up for the first time, drawing everyone's attention to her, varying degrees of shock on their faces.

"Oh my goodness, Loren, you're alive!" Harriet blurted out.

Other members of the staff uttered similar exclamations. Out of the corner of her eye, Jen saw Colonel Mackenzie glance over at Harm then back to Loren.

Brande, seeing everyone's distraction, took advantage of it.

"Hey." Jen said, seeing Brande's hands move behind his back, under the edge of his flannel shirt. She gestured slightly with her gun. "Keep your hands where I can see them."

"As you wish." Brande said, bringing his hands back out.

In his left hand he now held a gun and he brought it up, aiming it at Jen. "Put your gun down."

Jen just rolled her eyes. She inclined her head slightly in Loren's direction. "You're in no position to be making demands."

Without taking his eyes off Jen, Brande swung his arm to the side so his gun was now aimed at Harriet.

"How about now?" He asked. "Now put your guns down, both of you. I'm not going to ask again."

Jen grimaced and glanced back at Loren. Her jaw clenched, Loren nodded her agreement to the question she saw in Jen's eyes. Both women slowly lowered their guns to the floor.

"Now kick them away."

Jen snorted in disbelief, barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes again as she did as he said. With that one sentence, he'd proven he had no idea what he was doing. He should have had them kick the weapons _towards_ him, not just _away_ from themselves. Jen glanced at Loren again and saw her friend had reached the same conclusion.

"Hey, don't look at her, look at me." Brande cried when he saw Jen and Loren exchanging glances.

"Is this the whole staff? No, wait. You." Brande used his free hand to point to a Petty Officer towards the back of the room. "Why don't you go invite the Admiral to this little party. Use that door so I know you're not trying anything."

The young woman nodded her head jerkily and went to do as he said.

"The rest of you, spread out a little bit. Nobody standing real close together okay? That makes my trigger finger twitchy."

Harm glanced around as everyone did as Brande said. Nobody seemed too pleased to be taking orders from him but they were willing to play along for now, for Harriet's sake. His gaze came to rest on Jen, a feeling of relief sweeping over him that the gun was no longer pointed at her. He immediately felt guilty, though, since that was only due to the fact that it was now aimed at Harriet.

Admiral Chegwidden came out of his office then, looking like he wanted to rush the guy. But he too went along with it, waiting for a better opportunity to present itself.

"Why'd you do it?" Jen asked. "What made you despise your country that much?"

Brande looked at Jen. "I don't despise my country."

He nodded towards the TV monitors. "_That's_ why I'm doing this."

Jen mentally shook her head. He'd spoken in the present tense. He still thought he was going to get out of this. She glanced at the TV monitors to see what he was talking about. On the center screen, ZNN was doing a report on the fallout of a recent mission in Iraq.

"I love my country." Brande continued. "But we're not perfect. We have our problems." His tone grew hard. "We need to start paying more attention to our own problems. And stop sticking our noses in everyone elses!"

Jen stared at him in shock. This was the man who'd almost won a Pulitzer for the human interest pieces he wrote in Iraq. Pieces that, for the most part, showed how US actions had had a positive affect in the lives of his subjects. What had happened to so radically change his mind?

Before either of them could say anything else, Bud and another man that Jen had never seen before walked through the doors into the bullpen. Their friendly back and forth banter cut off suddenly when they saw the situation they had walked into.

"Harriet!" Bud cried out.

"Brande! What the hell are you doing man?" The other man, the photographer Jen guessed from the camera he was carrying, asked in shock. His face paled. "Shit! Is this why you wanted to be your own photographer today?"

Brande turned his head, and his attention, to the newcomers and Jen saw her chance. She rushed towards him, intending to tackle and disarm him. But Brande saw the movement out of the corner of his eye. His arm swung around again and his finger squeezed the trigger.

"Jen!" Harm cried. It was like his worst nightmare come to life.

A detached corner of his mind was aware of Harriet screaming as he watched, horrified, as Jen stumbled backwards into one of the desks. Her legs buckled and she slid down the side of the desk until she was on the floor, leaning against the desk. She pressed her left hand to her right shoulder, trying to staunch the flow of blood.

And Brande just stood staring wide-eyed at her, as if in shock that he'd actually shot her.

"Jen!" Harm cried again, rushing towards her. He couldn't take his eyes off of the growing red spot underneath her hand.

"Don't get any closer Commander."

Harm looked over to see Brande had recovered himself and had swung his gun around again. It was now pointed at his chest. Harm ignored it. He took another step, causing Brande to raise the weapon slightly.

"Harm!"

Harm looked back at Jen. Even through the pain in her eyes, he saw her concern was for him. Harm paused, his hands balling up into fists. He glanced over at Brande again, the hatred he felt for the other man in that moment clear in his eyes. As well as his desire to tear him to pieces with his bare hands.

Brande ignored it. "Back up."

"She needs medical treatment." Harm said through gritted teeth.

"Not my problem. Don't go near her."

"Please Harm." Jen begged.

Harm looked at her again, and after a moment, nodded slightly. Jen watched him reluctantly move away from her. He stopped, staring down at the floor as he clenched and unclenched his fists, and she froze when she saw where he was standing. Whether by accident or design, he was just a couple of feet from where she had kicked her gun to earlier. She held her breath, wondering if he would notice. She knew the moment he did; his hands stopped moving.

Jen glanced at Loren and saw the other woman had noticed the same thing she had. Loren's eyes tracked over to Brande for a second and Jen knew what she was trying to say: as long as his attention was on Harm, Harm wouldn't be able to do anything. Jen nodded her head slightly. Ignoring the pain in her shoulder, she turned her attention back to Brande.

"Do you really think that blowing up a few things will actually bring the military home?" Jen asked him, pain coloring her voice only slightly. She snorted in disbelief. "Did you even bother to get to know _any_ of the Marines in that unit you were embedded with?"

Brande looked down at Jen. "People need to be reminded that our domestic issues should come first!"

"And you're just the one to remind them?" Loren asked sarcastically.

Brande swung his gaze to Loren.

"Somebody has to." He declared emphatically.

"You know what I think?" Loren asked him. But she directed the next part to Jen. "If he's this country's savior, I think the country's screwed."

Jen nodded her agreement, grimacing slightly when the movement pulled at her wound.

"What are you talking about?" Brande asked testily.

Inside, Jen grinned. He was starting to get angry. Resolutely not looking at Harm, lest she draw Brande's attention back to him, Jen continued to provoke him.

"Just look at this situation Brande. Look what you've gotten yourself into. You're holding military personnel hostage, with a pistol! Do you even know how many shots you have left?" Jen paused and shook her head. "How long do you think it's going to be before they get tired of playing your little game?"

"Shut up." Brande said, pacing around, growing visibly agitated. He glanced around nervously at the JAG staff.

Loren started to speak up again but Jen cut her off. She couldn't let her go any further with this. Like she'd said earlier, Loren had a family to go home to. _And you don't?_ a little voice in her head cried. Jen ignored it and continued poking the giant.

"Did you pay _any_ attention to those interviews you did? Admiral Chegwidden was a SEAL! and Colonel Mackenzie over there, she's a Marine. I honestly don't know what's held them back this long."

"I _said_, shut up!" Brande cried, moving closer to her. He waved the gun around. "Or I'll shoot you again."

Jen ignored him. "Do you even have an exit strategy? When you brought that gun in here, did you have a plan for getting out?"

Brande stepped right up to her, leveling his gun at her head. Jen finally fell silent. She glared up at him defiantly, not giving him the satisfaction of showing any fear, as his finger tightened on the trigger. _I'm so sorry Harm._

And then his head exploded in a shower of red gore.

Jen let out a sigh of relief, her shoulders slumping. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of Bud rushing over to Harriet and heard the sounds of the photographer being sick. Then she glanced over at Harm, just in time to see him drop the gun. He rushed over to her, kneeling down beside her.

"Jen!"

"Nice shot...took you...long enough." Now that adrenaline wasn't being pumped into her system, she was really starting to feel the pain of being shot. The hand pressed against the wound started shaking. A detached corner of her brain noted that she was probably going into shock.

Harm glanced around for something to use to try to stop the blood flow as Loren came up to them. She crouched down next to them, her cell phone still in her hand.

"Paramedics are on their way." She glanced over Jen, noting the rapid change in her condition from just moments before. She pursed her lips and looked over at Harm. "Keep her talking Harm."

Harm needed no encouragement. He too had noticed Jen's worsening condition. He pressed his heft hand over hers, trying to slow the blood loss while with his other hand he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He forced a smile for her.

"You're going to be okay." He said, but he could tell that she knew that he wasn't really sure. He shook his head. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Somebody had to." Jen said. "It's...not so bad. Hurt more...when I broke my leg."

She managed to grin at him. She blinked her eyes, fighting to stay awake.

"Shit!" Loren cursed. She pulled her hand out from where she'd had it behind Jen's shoulder. It was covered with blood. She nudged Harm so he could see.

Harm paled, realizing what that meant. The bullet had passed all the way through and while they were trying to stop the blood flow at the entrance wound, she was still bleeding out from the exit wound. He ignored the rest of the JAG staff that had gathered around by point as he focused back on Jen.

"Jen?" Harm cried, seeing her struggling to stay conscious. "Stay with me!"

Jen managed to smile up at Harm again as blackness crept in along the edges of her vision.

"Harm. I...love you."

She reached out with her good hand to cup his cheek, leaving a smear of her blood there when she couldn't hold her hand up any longer.

And then there was blackness.

* * *

A/N: Yes, I am evil. *grin*


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimers: None of this is mine  
Setting: The second half of season 9

A/N: Well, this is it. The last chapter. I'd like to say thank you one last time to everyone who's been reading this. And an especially big thank you to everyone who's taken the time to comment.

1145 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"You're allowed to go over there you know."

At Mac's words, Harm glanced over at her for a second as she walked up to him, then turned his attention back to where Jen was, a few feet away. He didn't answer Mac at first, just continued to watch the paramedics as they got ready to transport Jen to the hospital. His gaze drifted a little, to Clayton Webb, standing just to the side of the stretcher, leaning over Jen and yet somehow still staying out of the paramedics way.

"I get the feeling I'd be interrupting something." Harm finally said. But that wasn't the real reason and he knew it.

The truth was he didn't know how to go over there and pretend he wasn't freaked out over what she'd done. And that he wasn't afraid of something even worse happening the next time she pulled a stunt like that. And there would be a next time. It would be foolish to think otherwise, especially now that her cover at JAG was blown.

Unable to stop himself, his mind conjured up an image of Jen in some far off place, a faceless somebody standing over her broken and bleeding body. And this time there was nobody around to stop him from pulling the trigger.

Harm squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the image. After a minute he opened them again.

As if she could feel him watching her, Jen turned her head slightly so their eyes met. The understanding in her eyes was like a knife twisting in his heart. He should be the one over there with her, not Clay. And the fact that she understood why he wasn't just made it worse.

He'd stayed by her side until the paramedics had arrived. She regained consciousness a couple of minutes before they got there, something he'd taken as a good sign. The paramedics had agreed with him, a cursory examination showing her loss of consciousness had more to do with the shock of being shot and the sudden drop in her adrenaline levels then it did with the amount of blood she had lost. They'd started making sure she was stable enough to transport and he'd pulled back then, ostensibly to give them enough room to work.

Clay had shown up a few minutes later, along with the rest of the CIA backup Jen and Loren had apparently called for. They'd politely 'asked' everyone, including the paramedics, to leave the building while they secured the scene. Clay, who'd rushed to Jen's side the moment he realized she was the one the paramedics were working on, had gone too, leaving his men to take care of everything.

"They do seem pretty close, don't they?"

Mac's words cut into Harm's thoughts. Not waiting for him to answer, she continued speaking, a slight note of jealousy now coloring her tone.

"Do you think they ever-"

"No." Harm said matter-of-factly before she could finish.

Before he could continue, his attention was drawn to the two CIA agents who had just come out of the building. Still wearing the kevlar vests they had arrived in (why hadn't Jen had one of those on?), they were carrying the body back containing the remains of Brande. As they headed towards the transport vehicle, they passed Loren and Admiral Chegwidden, deep in conversation away from everyone else. Loren didn't even glance at the men, or the body bag, as they walked by but Harm had already noticed that she'd positioned herself in such a way so as to be able to keep an eye on what was happening with Jen.

Harm turned his attention back to Jen in time to see Clay, who'd apparently noticed Jen looking at something behind him, turn and look over his shoulder at him. As Harm watched, Jen reached out with her good hand and tugged weakly at Clay's arm so that he focused his attention back on her. She started saying something to him and even though he was too far away to overhear, Harm knew it was about him. One of the paramedics tried putting an oxygen mask on her then in a not so subtle reminder she needed to conserve her strength but Jen just reached up with her good hand to grasp it before he could get it all the way on. Seeing that, Harm couldn't help but smile. That was his Jen. She might be down, but she was definitely not out.

He felt his smile start to fade a little as they loaded her into the ambulance.

1000 local time  
CIA Headquarters  
Langley, Virginia

"He hasn't stopped talking since we told him Brande was dead." Loren paused and looked over at Jen. "Not that we needed him to. We got everything we needed off of Brande's laptop and backup hard drive."

Jen nodded, continuing to peer through the two-way mirror as the suspect she had chased down so long ago (or so it seemed) spilled everything to the agent in the room with him. Her right arm was in a sling, keeping her shoulder immobilized while it healed. Except when she forgot she was wearing it and tried to do something she normally did with her right hand.

"At least now we know why we had so much trouble trying to find these people or figure out what they were up to." Jen finally said. "Brande's experience keeping sources confidential helped him keep this whole thing under wraps. Didn't help him a whole lot with the operational aspect of things though, thank goodness."

Loren nodded her agreement.

Jen started to say something else, then stopped when she saw another agent step into the interrogation room, signaling an end to that session. She watched as the agent put a pair of handcuffs on the suspect before pulling him up out of his chair.

Jen continued to stare into the room for a minute, watching as the agent still in there started to organize his notes, then she turned and left the room. Loren was right behind her.

They stepped out into the hallway just as the would-be terrorist and his escort walked by. His steps faltered as he turned his head, staring at them, until his escort grew impatient and tugged on his arm to get him moving again.

"He and his cousin were part of an anti-government militia group Brande did a story on a few years back." Loren said into the silence as the young man disappeared around a corner. She shook her head. "Actually, from what we've seen so far, _everyone_ in the cell had some kind of a connection to a group or organization Brande did a story on."

"A part of me still can't believe it. I mean, I read those articles he wrote while he was in Iraq. What happened? What changed? I guess we'll never know."

"Actually, I think we found the answer to that on his laptop too." Loren paused. "It happened when he was in Iraq. While he was working on those damn human interest pieces. He didn't do a piece on every person he interviewed over there. We found his notes on his laptop. That he still has them is pretty telling. Anyway, a couple of the people he didn't write about, the stuff they said... Well, they were really clever in how they went about it. They didn't praise the old regime or try to convince him things were so much better before. They admitted that they needed to work on some things but they said they should have been allowed to put their own house in order instead of some outside force coming in and doing it for them. Especially outsiders who had so many problems of their own. Any of that sound familiar?"

Jen nodded, unconsciously rubbing at her shoulder.

Loren continued. "From the wording in his notes, I got the impression all they were really trying to do was get a well known report to start writing articles voicing opposition to our military presence over there. Not that they had to be all that upset with what they did end up getting, I'm sure."

Loren fell silent. Jen started to reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, with her right hand, and winced when she pulled at her wound.

Seeing the movement, and the grimace, Loren glanced over at Jen as she started walking down the hall. "So what did the doctors say about that?"

Jen fell into step beside her. "Well I have to wear this sling for another two weeks, at least. It depends on how often I forget I have it on. And I'll have to do some physical therapy. But they don't see any reason why I shouldn't regain full range of motion."

"That's great!" Loren said, smiling at her friend.

They reached the end of the hallway then and turned the corner, heading in the opposite direction from the one their suspect had gone in a few minutes ago.

"You and Harm will have to come over for dinner some time this week so we can celebrate. Not to mention Dylan is just dying to finally meet the 'mysterious Commander'."

"Um, yeah. I'll...I'll actually have to get back to you on that."

Loren frowned at her friend, recognizing that there was something she wasn't saying. And it wasn't that hard to guess what it might be. She hadn't missed that fact that Harm had hung back from Jen once the paramedics had arrived the other day.

"You _have_ seen Harm since that day at JAG, right?"

"Of course." Jen said, a little too quickly. She stared down at the floor, not meeting Loren's eyes as she continued. "He came to the hospital to make sure I was okay. And he brought Mattie the first time she visited me."

"Jen..."

Jen looked up to meet Loren's eyes. "He's just a little freaked out right now, is all."

"You're the one who was shot and _he's_ the one who's freaked out?"

"Cut him some slack, okay? He wanted me to quit after I twisted my ankle chasing pizza guy down. This was a lot worse and he had a front row seat for it. I mean, how would you react if you watched Dylan almost pull a kamikaze, twice?"

"If Dylan did something like that, I would kill him." Loren answered seriously.

"Wouldn't that kind of be defeating the purpose..." Jen asked, also in a serious tone of voice. Then she looked over at Loren and grinned.

"Smart ass." Loren said and reached out and playfully shoved Jen sideways a little. Then she sighed. "He's going to have to get used to it sooner or later Jen. It's part of your job."

Seeing that Jen wasn't looking her in the eye anymore, again, Loren frowned. "It is still part of your job, right?"

Jen took a deep breath and looked back over at her friend. "You know, I think we've talked about me enough. Let's talk about you now."

Because the truth was, she'd made a decision while she was in the hospital. As much as she hated to admit it, there was a small part of her that was worried that Harm seemed to still be struggling to deal with what had happened. Yes, he'd come to see her in the hospital, but he'd been distant, often not able to look her in the eye.

With her JAG cover now effectively blown, she'd be getting a new assignment. One that would surely put her in dangerous situations more often than her JAG assignment had and would also more than likely take her away from Harm for extended periods of time.

With that in mind, she'd made the decision to give up her field agent status. And as much as she hated to keep something like this from Loren, she didn't want to say anything to anyone till she had submitted the paperwork. And then, Harm deserved to be the first to know.

"What about me, exactly?"

Loren's words pulled Jen out of her thoughts. She breathed a sigh of relief that her friend had decided not to pursue their previous line of conversation. Before she could say anything, they reached the elevators, one of them opening as they walked up to it. They waited for the lone occupant to exit, then both women stepped inside, Jen reaching out to press the button for the floor they wanted. As the elevator ascended, Jen turned towards Loren.

"You can start with what you and Admiral Chegwidden were talking about the other day. I wasn't that out of it that I didn't notice the two of you in a very serious looking conversation."

"Oh, that." Loren said, trying to wave dismissively.

The elevator doors opened and they stepped out, Jen leading the way this time. She stopped suddenly, though, as something occurred to her.

"You're not being court-martialed are you?"

"What? No." Loren said. She started walking again, prompting Jen to start moving too. "The exact opposite in fact. He said he was going to consider this last year or so just part of an extended maternity leave. And that he was going to expedite a transfer to an inactive reserve unit."

"Really?" Jen said, her eyebrows raising. Her lips quirked upward. "And you thought nobody there liked you."

Loren rolled her eyes and made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort, but otherwise didn't respond.

Reaching their destination, Jen pushed open the office door and stepped inside, flicking the light switch as she went.

"Not bad." Loren said, looking around.

Jen also looked around the room. It had all the basics - desk, computer, filing cabinet, but none of the little touches that would help to personalize it. She made a mental note to bring in some pictures of Harm and Mattie.

"You know, I've never had an office here before."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it."

Jen turned around as Clay stepped into the room. She frowned as his words registered. They couldn't possibly have reassigned her already! She hadn't even been cleared to return to full duty yet. And what would this mean for her plans to get a desk job?

"After a long, ah, discussion, Admiral Chegwidden and the Deputy Director came to an agreement. You still work for us, but you get to keep your day job with JAG."

For a minute Jen just stared at him, not certain she had heard him correctly. Then she was throwing her good arm around his neck in an awkward hug.

"Thank you." She whispered into his ear.

"Don't thank me." Clay said when she finally pulled back. "It was Chegwidden's idea."

Then he rubbed at his ear as if trying to clear it. "But I did have to listen to him scream at me for an hour for placing not one but two CIA agents in his command. As if the whole thing had been my idea. So you do owe me one for that. I think my ears are still ringing."

Jen laughed and hugged him again.

0830 local time  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Hesitating only moment, Jen pushed open the glass door and walked into the bullpen. Activity didn't cease at her appearance but she could tell people were surreptitiously watching her. Fixing a smile on her face, Jen started for her office.

Stepping out of the break room with Bud, Harm watched Jen walk into her office. Absentmindedly handing Bud the cup of coffee he'd just gotten, Harm started after her. Stopping in the doorway he watched her looking around as if she was seeing it for the first time. He felt himself smiling.

After a minute, he knocked softly on the door frame. Jen spun around, a tentative smile on her face when she saw him.

"Hey." He said, stepping into the room.

"Hey."

"You want to grab lunch together later?"

Jen's smile grew wider. "I'd like that."

She took a step towards him, closing the distance between them.

"So are we okay? What? What's so funny?" Jen asked, frowning a little at seeing Harm's lips start to curve upward at her question.

"Nothing. It's just...I was going to ask you the same thing."

Hearing his response, Jen felt her self grinning too.

"I'm sorry Jen. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when-"

"It's okay Harm." Jen said, cutting him off. She reached out, resting her hand on his chest. "I understand. You just...needed time to work through everything."

Harm nodded, resting his hand on top of hers. He'd done a lot of thinking over the past week. And while he could never like the dangers associated with Jen's job, he'd finally realized that if he let that fear keep him away from her, he would lose her just the same as he would to that hypothetical bullet.

"I was going to give it up, you know." At his confused look, Jen explained. "My field agent status. I was going to put in for a desk job. Something in analysis. Then Clay told me I was going to stay with JAG. Was that you? Did you talk the Admiral into this?"

"I wanted to." Harm said after a long minute. "But then I realized I couldn't. It had to be your decision. I didn't want you to end up resenting me for meddling with your career."

Harm paused and looked down into her eyes. "Are you sure you can be happy doing this Jen?"

"Harm," Jen said, moving even closer to him. "As long as I have you, I would be happy flipping burgers for the rest of my life."

She stood up on tip-toe as Harm lowered his head towards hers. She closed her eyes in anticipation as their lips moved ever closer.

"You two aren't going to make me regret this, are you?"

At the sound of the familiar voice Jen's eyes flew open and she jerked back, turning away from Harm. She barely stopped herself from coming to attention.

"No sir!" She said, a split second before Harm did. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that he _was_ standing at attention next to her.

"Good." Admiral Chegwidden said, looking back and forth between the two of them. Then he turned to Harm. "Rabb, don't you have opening statements to prepare?"

"Yes sir!" Harm said and braced even further to attention before turning on his heel and leaving the office as quickly as he could.

Admiral Chegwidden turned his attention to Jen. "Pett...Miss Coates, there's a memo on your desk that needs to be typed up and there's a stack of filing that needs to be caught up on. I expect both to be done before you leave for the day."

Jen tried not to smile. "Yes sir, Admiral."

But he had already turned and walked into his office, closing the door behind him.

Harm stuck his head back into Jen's office. "Don't forget, lunch later."

Smiling at him, Jen walked over and pulled his head down, pressing her lips to his. When she finally released him, he stared down at her for a moment, a dazed look on his face. He blinked a couple of times, trying to focus.

With extreme reluctance he left her office again. He was halfway across the bullpen when Bud came up to him.

"Sir, someone just dropped this off for you." He handed Harm the envelope he was holding.

"Great Bud." Harm said, smiling.

He glanced back at Jen but she was already busy trying to type up that memo one-handed. He turned back around and opened the envelope, pleased to see that it did contain the tickets he had purchased yesterday for tonight's show at the planetarium. He was going to surprise Jen with them at lunch today.

And then at the show tonight, he had another surprise for her. He patted his jacket pocket, assuring himself the small jewelry box was still in there.

He turned and glanced back at Jen one more time. All he could see was the future.


End file.
